Mark Wahlberg Could’ve Stopped 9/11 From Happening Like Some Stupid Looking Superman

Thanks to half of America turning its internet black yesterday, it was an excellent time to bury bad news. Likewise, it was an awful time because celebrities were saying stupid things and we missed them. Such as? How about Mark Wahlberg saying that he could’ve single-handedly stopped 9/11 from happening?

Today, Marky Mark has apologised about saying something stupid about America’s sacred cow, which they intend to guilt-trip everyone about until they finally blow the Earth to pieces.

So what did he say?

Wahlberg asserted that he would have stopped terrorists from flying a perfectly nice plane into New York’s World Trade Center on Sept. 11 if he had been on it.

In an interview with Men’s Fitness, he said:

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”

Get that? If you were on that plane and are now reading this as a ghost, then you suck. Mark Wahlberg doesn’t suck. He would’ve roundhouse kicked the terrorists until their heads came clean off. He wouldn’t just sit their, munching peanuts and drinking gin from a small tin can.

We assume that’s what he meant, right? It certainly looks like he’s saying that those who perished on that infamous flight didn’t do enough to stop it from happening.

Wait. He’s apologised hasn’t he?

Wahlberg is now saying that his speculation was:

“ridiculous to begin with.” And that to suggest he “would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible.”

Thank you Mark Wahlberg. Celebrities have been a bit too guarded recently, so we’re grateful that you let your mouth run-off without kicking your brain in.

Can you pass judgement on the American soldiers who took a leak on insurgent corpses now? That’d be sweet. Oh, and good luck with your burger bar. Maybe you could make a double-stack burger in tribute to the World Trade Centre by way of apology?

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