Mark Ronson Don’t Like Lindsay Lohan Schtupping His Sister

Sam Ronson isn’t just the sourfaced, hat-wearing lesbian who’s subjected to the sight of Lindsay Lohan’s pubes more than anyone else, you know.

No, Sam Ronson is also the sister of producer Mark Ronson. They both share quite a dominant ‘terrible haircut’ gene. And they’re both DJs too, which leads us to believe that their family is so rich that neither of them to ever have to worry about getting a proper job.

But, anyway, Mark Ronson is apparently trying to end Sam Ronson’s relationship with Lindsay Lohan because he wants to be the famous one again he really cares for her and whatever.

Mark Ronson and Sam Ronson – aside from the crap hair and silly job thing – really do share a lot in common, you know. They both have stepfathers from the band that inadvertently performed the soundtrack to the Gene Simmons sex tape. They’re both related to Malcolm Rifkind. And they both, for whatever reason, enjoy hanging out with wildly problematic women.

Mark Ronson, of course, is Amy Winehouse‘s producer – a job that seems to consist of three parts developing an authentic soul sound, two parts shaping melody and lyrics, and 500 parts screaming at Amy Winehouse not to eat all the drugs in the world and then slash about herself with the nearest sharpest object.

And, presumably because she’s playing the wrongest game of catch-up known to man, Sam Ronson responded to this by convincing Lindsay Lohan that she was a lesbian and embarking on a romantic voyage that seems to involve nothing but grimacing at a succession of vaguely pikey nightclubs together.

However, over the last couple of week it has seemed as if there might be trouble in paradise. On New Year’s Day, it was reported that Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson had a screaming punch-up in a hotel that had to be broken up by security, prompting Lindsay Lohan to? jump on her blog and declare that they weren’t splitting up.

But that’s apparently not good enough for Mark Ronson who, in a bout of concern for his little sister, is reportedly trying to break Lindsay and Sam up for good. The News Of The World reports:

Well said DJ MARK RONSON, who has ordered his skinny little sis to end things with ?actress? LINDSAY Yes-I-Really-Am-A-Lesbian (I-Think) LOHAN. ?Mark doesn?t think Lindsay is right for his little sister,? said an insider. ?He?s really protective and is pressing to end it for good.?

Of course, Mark has every reason to be worried – not so long ago Sam was hospitalised with exhaustion, and that has to be related to Lindsay Lohan somehow because the only way her job could be any less exhausting is if she had an armchair surgically grafted on to her bottom or something.

But we shouldn’t rush to conclusions here – the only way to tell if Mark Ronson is a serious threat to Sam and Lindsay’s relationship is to sit it out for a couple of days and see if Lindsay Lohan blogs about it. Because, as we all know, Lindsay Lohan only blogs about the most important things in her life, like parental betrayal and politics and how Facebook are like being total douches and shit. Time will tell.

Read more:

Leave Her A-Lohan – News Of The World

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