When the world woke up last week, everyone thought the same things. A) The weekend’s finished and we have to go to work. B) Who’s that chick who won the Oscar for best actress for a film we’ve never heard of before?

Who was Marion Cotillard, where had she come from and what the hell was La Vie en Rose about? And what did it mean? For God’s sake why wasn’t it done in English? Surely the producers didn’t expect the majority of the world to watch a film they couldn’t understand. God damn those crazy French.

As an Oscar winner, we’d expect Marion Cotillard’s career to go from strength to strength. If not winning more Oscars, then definitely starting up random charities or collecting third world children like Happy Meal toys. But instead of riding high on the success and mulling over lucrative film offers, Marion’s gone and ballsed it up. Big style.