Mario Lopez Lives Vicariously Through His Creepy Dog

Mario Lopez Is A Shiny Happy PersonApparently, Mario Lopez’s dog has a Twitter account, and it’s just adorable. Actually, it’s adorable when a dog says things like, “hope you bitches have your chi-chis out #Imcomingforyou,” but when you realize Mario Lopez is the dude behind these quips, it’s just plain creepy.

It also reveals something we’ve all suspected for a while: Mario Lopez is kind of a perverted douchebag.

On the outside, Mario Lopez seems perfect. The white smile, the dimples, the wholesome Saved by the Bell background—he’s basically a robot.

But celebrity gossip enthusiasts will remember his transgression years ago—when he cheated on his fiancé, Ali Landry. The two were married for just a couple of weeks. He hit it just days before their wedding, while on vacation for his bachelor party. So, from that alone, we know that Mario Lopez’s moral compass is weak, despite what his wholesome dimples may be telling us.

And was he sorry about it? Apparently not. Years after the incident, Landry told Wendy Williams:

“I had heard something right before the wedding, and he swore that nothing was true…he denied it. He never apologized.”

But despite his douchbaggery, the guy is still known as an American sweetheart. The public just doesn’t want to believe that Mario Lopez is, simply, a skeevy perv. But you can’t hide seediness forever, and recently, Lopez has been living it out. Through his dog.

Mario’s dog, Julio Lopez, has its own Twitter account, and Lopez himself has confirmed it is indeed run by his “dog.”

It’s bio?

“Playa. Gangsta. Champion. Pimp. and Papi Chulo.”

Mario Lopez's Dog Julio Went on Lopez Tonight

The location is “in your bed.” At first, it’s kind of cute:

” Well hello pups! Can’t wait to play outside today! Gonna tear up my sis’ toys.”

But you soon realize that French bulldogs can’t type, and this is, in fact, Lopez unleashing his wild side through Julio. Julio is, essentially, Lopez’s creepy alter ego.

Here are just a few Twitter gems:

“I’m accepting tight ass submissions by Thursday. I need to see that ass in all different positions and tell me why I need it.”

“How’s that baby? You still gettin some? No pullin’ out?? thats how I do’s it! :-)”

“My Friday song of the day is ‘Sexual Healing’ by Marvin Gaye. All I do is heal biz-natches….#donthate #doctorjulio.”

Pretty disturbing, right?

Julio’s favorite topics included bitches, booze and paternity tests. If I were Mario Lopez’s fiance, I would be seriously worried.

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Comments

  1. Lwilson says

    NOT a fan/supporter of Mario Lopez but seriously? Its a joke ppl! Have a sense of humor? Btw: his wife runs the account, not him!