Mariah Carey To Foolishly Make Another Movie

February 28th, 2006 at 14:30 by Stuart Heritage

Mariah_carey_madonna_grammys_1
Remember Glitter? We don’t either. Of course we heard about it, it was the big screen debut of Mariah Carey after all, but it got such horrific reviews that we’d eat our own legs off before watching it.

But Mariah Carey is nothing if not a trooper. Well, a trooper or a woman who doesn’t realise when she’s so bad at something that she should never try to attempt it again. Because - for some reason, Mariah Carey is going to make another film. God help us all.

It’s been announced that slow-blinking, award-grabbing,
garment-intolerant warbling fruitloop Mariah Carey (CDs) wants to get her
foot back in the acting door. She’s reportedly to star in Tennessee, a
film we already don’t like the sound of. Here’s the pitch for
Tennessee, as told by E! Online:

[Maria Carey plays] a waitress
who teams with her two brothers to search for their estranged father in
an effort to help the youngest brother, who has leukaemia.

Those
keywords again: "teams," "search," "estranged," "help," "leukaemia."
Urgh. But - regardless of how dreadful Tennessee sounds - what the hell
is Mariah Carey doing making another film? We thought she was happy where she is now, winning millions of music awards, doing annoying cockney accents and telling Frenchmen that she’s done a wee in her knickers.

Worryingly, she doesn’t seem to be learning from her mistakes. Glitter, Mariah’s last film,
got some of the worst reviews for any movie in history. Mariah Carey
won the 2001 Worst Actress Razzie for her role in a film that one
critic called:

"About as fresh as rancid Chinese food that has been stuck in the back of the refrigerator for several months."

Not
only that, it was around the time of Glitter that Mariah had her little
breakdown incident. And if a fluffy film about a wannabe singer can do that,
imagine what a maudlin, faux-inspirational flick like Tennessee will do
to her. Worse still, the producer of Tennessee hasn’t actually seen
Glitter either. Lee Daniels told Daily Variety:

"I never saw Glitter,
but I liked her work in the other film… because this character is
interracial and struggles with all sorts of issues because of that, I
thought she was perfect."

We could be wrong, but we’re fairly sure that this is a code for "Look, Maria Carey is famous and a lot of people seem to like her for some reason. Plus, who the fuck else would see this crappy-sounding film unless it has some kind of star attached to it?"

Read more:

Mariah’s Cinematic Comeback - E! Online 

[story by Stuart Heritage]

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11 Responses to “Mariah Carey To Foolishly Make Another Movie”

  1. Gary Anderson Says:
    February 28th, 2006 at 6:56 pm

    Go for it Mariah! Elvis made some awful movies But the fans still went to see them What is that saying “If at first you do not succeed Try again” See ya Gary

  2. dylan Says:
    February 28th, 2006 at 7:53 pm

    you are just jealous. how many movies have YOU made? how many albums? how many people are in YOUR fanclub?

    pathetic internet wannabe celebs.

  3. Larry Land Jr. Says:
    February 28th, 2006 at 8:58 pm

    I believe that Glitter wasn’t a bad movie like these people are saying it is I even think that it is a wonderful idea for a beautiful woman like Mariah to make a new movie it donsen’t sound like it is a bad movie sounds like something I would watch. I even asked around my town to see if glitter was a bad movie most of the people I asked thought that it was a pretty good movie.

  4. bertin Says:
    February 28th, 2006 at 10:29 pm

    i will happy to see your film.
    i wish good job.
    see you later after film…

  5. John J Rambone Says:
    March 2nd, 2006 at 9:46 pm

    Glitter was robbed of the Oscars, and this time around, I dont think Mariah is taking any prisoners.

  6. Nala Says:
    April 19th, 2006 at 1:24 am

    yeah.. i heard tennesee was supposed to have a good story line. well i do NOT think Glitter was terrible at all… i dont see how people could say it was cheesey and stupid at all. it had a pretty good storyline and i liked it. it wasnt horrific at all. she is an exellent actress. yeah j.lo is too but i think mariah is a better one.

  7. Emily Says:
    June 16th, 2006 at 1:22 am

    I’m constantly amazed at how much people LOVE to see others fall. For some reason this obsession with Mariah Carey and the bad
    reviews of her first film, Glitter, shouldn’t shut her out of the acting business. She’s THE most successful female artist in history and
    who isn’t that much worse at acting. Perhaps she won’t be nominated for an oscar but her role in WiseGirls, a small industry film, not
    seen by many portrayed a better side of Mariah and her acting abilities. Glitter infact had a lot of potential with an interesting story
    line. Terrence Howard who was nominated for an academy award best actor in a leading role, also co-starred this this so called
    “horrific” film where he played a gangster music producer, but the reviews of the movie didn’t seem to have an effect on him as
    he went on to be nominated for his latest leading film role. People should give Mariah a chance, she’s beautiful and extremely
    talented for those of you who weren’t around in 05′ where she took home award after award and swept the Grammys. No one is
    expecting her to be the next Halle Berry and win actress of the year but she does not deserve to be shut out from the movie
    industry.

  8. Jaya Says:
    May 16th, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    Glitter was NOT mariah’s last film freak face! It was Wise Girls. If you don’t get your facts streight shut the hell up! I can’t wait for her movie!!!

  9. LARISSA Says:
    June 20th, 2007 at 5:00 am

    omg

    u are pathetic

    Have u seen her movie wise girls she was excellent in that so what if glitter wasnt as good she can still act, and if you havnt noticed shes not the type to give up… look at her comeback with her emancipation of mimi cd. GO mariah !!!!! i bet ya this movie will be great u guys are pathetic to question why she is make another movie

  10. KELLS Says:
    September 15th, 2007 at 12:49 am

    I SEEN THAT MOVIE WISE GIRL AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD I WAS IMPRESSES TO SEE HER ACT THAT PART. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I THINK THAT’S HOW SHE IS. I LIKE MARAH CAREY HER MUSIC CARRIED ME TROUGH DESPERATION AND INSPIRED ME TO WRITE POERTY NOW I HAVE AN AWARD AND MY POETRY IS GETTING PUBLISHED. I KNOW THERE MIGHT BE SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DON’T LIKE HER BUT SHE SHOULDN’T CARE THEY DON’T SIGN HER CHECKS! AND THEY NAME AINT ON IT. WHY SHOULDN’T SHE MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE? THERE’S ALOT OF ACTOR WHO HAD TERRIBLE MOVIES BUT THEY DON’T GIVE UP. SO MARIAH NEEDS TO KEEP HER HEAD UP REAL HIGH. AND HER CAREER AINT OVER UNTIL SHE SAY IT’S OVER. AGAIN NOBODY’S NAME IS ON HER FAT CHECKS THAT SHE GETS SO SHE CAN DO WHAT EVA SHE WANTS.

  11. ben Says:
    April 24th, 2008 at 4:55 am

    Stuart Heritage, you are a fucking moron. You probably think your cool/famous because you write for some lame website. Have fun sitting at your desk jerkin it while everyone else goes and watches this touching movie. get a life loser

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