Mariah Carey Insists On Making Another Film

If anyone out there saw Mariah Carey’s last big movie Glitter in 2001, then you have probably not digested a good meal since.

It’s not so much that it generated bile, it’s that it kept generating bile every time someone so much as uttered Mariah’s name or she appeared on telly with her giant ass folded into a swimsuit. And now she’s making another one.

Glitter was apparently based, at least in part, on Mariah Carey’s own life story. Like the heroine in the film, she too rose to fame as a singer from a troubled background; unlike her character in the film however, 3D Mariah is still releasing records. They are mainly duds about touching her up or not going bonkers anymore, but are religiously played by radio stations everywhere that have an ‘X’ in the title.

So far 38-year-old Mariah has acted in four films and has not actually been the worse thing in all of them. She was alongside Damon Dash in one of them, mind, so that solves that little mystery.

If we can’t talk crazy Carey (not a legal term) out of acting in another picture, we can at least warn you about it. We strongly suggest you memorise the title and avoid going to see it on pain of death. Unless it turns out to be good, in which case we retract that last comment and congratulate Mariah on her comeback success. Well Done, Mariah! You Rock! Etc.

Tennessee is the name to watch out for. It’s an ‘indie’ flick, a story of two brothers searching for their estranged dad and is produced by this man: Lee Daniels. Make a note of that name, he made the excellent Monster’s Ball in 2001 and, apparently, has completely lost it.

Mariah, who will play a waitress in the film, had this to say about Daniels’ decision:

“It was cool for Lee Daniels to take a chance on me because obviously, you know, not everybody was going to do that“.

Definitely. A good guy. It’s not like having her name on the poster will encourage anyone mentally debilitated enough to listen to her music from coming to the movie.

Even negative reaction might be good for Tennessee. Glitter made $4.2 million at the box office after all; it did cost $22 million to make and so was a staggering flop, but that was just bad luck. Mariah impersonating a Disney princess who grew up and went mad had nothing to do with it.

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