And – while there's nothing worse than people who label anything slightly intellectual or artistic as 'pretentious' – we can't help but side with the naysayers on this one and shake our heads like that bewildered Grandma watching 2 Girls 1 Cup on YouTube.
Held in new 'city of culture' Liverpool – kind of like renaming Dachau 'smilesville' – Monday night's Turner Prize was the 23rd in a long line of such controversial get-togethers. Named after the painter J.M.V Turner – an arguable pioneer of the Impressionist aesthetic – the gong generally seems to be given to whatever a local panel of sixth-formers would think would offend their parents the most.
This year? It's been won by a man dressing as a bear.
Artist Mark Wallinger submitted a video work which consisted of him putting on the grizzly outfit and wandering around Berlin's Neue Nationalgalerie for 10 nights in a row. The judges justified their decision by hailing the piece as genius, stating that:
"In this meditative yet disquieting work, notions of national memory and allegory converge to continue Wallinger's examination of the themes of identity and representation."
Yes. Quite. On the same subject, the panel really should go out and pick up a copy of Trigger Happy TV on DVD – Dom Joly's scintillating critique of the dichotomy between urban architecture and the underlying yet unseen presence of the natural world. Or a man putting on a giant bunny outfit. However you want to see it.
Christ – just don't let them ever see Rentaghost. They'd probably think Da Vinci had returned or something.