It’s a big day for Madonna – although at her age any day that she doesn’t shatter her hip slipping in the bath is a big day.

What’s the occasion? Why, despite her best efforts, a court has rejected Madonna’s bid to adopt Mercy James from Malawi. It’s sad news – Madonna had already ordered Mercy 25 genuinely offensive leotards and purchased a special little drill to gap her teeth and everything.

What’s Madonna’s next step? Well, she can either appeal against the ruling or adopt a kid from Gloucestershire and just black it up a bit. The second one’s probably easier.

Today was supposed to be a big day for Madonna – although at her age any day that she doesn’t almost die of pneumonia alone in her house is a big day – but it was going to be an even bigger day for young Mercy James. When she woke up this morning, she knew that one of the following things would definitely happen to her:

1 – Madonna would fly home from Malawi without her, leaving her to probably die young in extreme poverty, or

2 – Madonna would be allowed to adopt her, and she’d spend her formative years listening to a lycra-clad pensioner thump on about Kabbalah like a wild-eyed ninny all the time.

Basically our point is that Mercy James was going to be effed either way, but you probably got that.

However, in a piece of frankly stunning news, the Malawi High Court has decided that Madonna won’t be allowed to adopt Mercy James after all. Reuters reports:

A Malawian court ruled on Friday that U.S. pop star Madonna cannot be granted an interim adoption of a second child from the country, three court sources said. Rights groups have accused Malawian authorities of giving her special treatment… Malawian civil society groups opposed the adoption attempt and a local human rights activist said it would amount to child trafficking.

Madonna had certainly put in the legwork when it came to adopting Mercy James. During this week’s visit to Malawi, she did all she could to show the authorities that she’d be a good mother – like taking David Banda to disappoint his biological father, deciding to bulldoze a load of houses so that she could build a high-profile vanity project there and, crucially, divorcing that mockney potato-man who followed her around last time.

But still, things weren’t completely cut and dry as far as having the adoption granted went – especially because of the furore over her last adoption and the fact that she’d be raising Mercy James alone – and that’s what made today such a big day for Madonna. Although at her age any day that she doesn’t start crying because she’s forgotten the names of her own immediate family is a big day.

What happens next is anybody’s guess. You’d imagine that someone as pugnacious and used to getting her own way as Madonna won’t take this ruling lying down, making an appeal almost inevitable. But on the other hand she might just stick with her ridiculously young boyfriend instead, seeing as how he’s only a couple of days older than Mercy James anyway. But still, right now Madonna is at a crossroads – making today one of the biggest days in Madonna’s life.

Although, technically, any day that Madonna isn’t forced to spend an entire week in her stairlift because it stopped mid-journey and she left her panic button in the kitchen is a big day.

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