"We are living in a Material World," Madonna once sang, "and I am a Material Girl."

It looks like the gap-toothed wannabe Englishwoman has changed her tune of last, however. Now she’s claiming that:

"The material world, the physical world, the world of illusion that we think is real… we live for it. We’re enslaved by it. It will ultimately be our undoing."

Not quite as catchy as the former, is it? 

In a display of measured philosophical pondering – and not at all desperate menopausal attention-grabbing, as certain nasty cynics would have you believe – Madonna (CDs) has been treating the world to more searingly valuable insight.

Launching into a tirade in which she referred to the Western World as "The Beast," the 47-year-old performer insisted that "people are going to go to hell if they don’t turn from wicked behaviour."

Ironic, really. Madonna’s outburst was inspired by her beliefs in new-age idiot-beacon Kabbalah, a ‘religion’ that apparently inspired husband Guy Ritchie to go and make Revolver – and if making that pile of absolute tosscheese doesn’t count as "wicked behaviour", then god only knows what does.

As if to show her disgust with the crushing commercialism of our oh-so-shallow society, Madonna also took this occasion upon herself to introduce her ‘new look’ – something reported to be heavily influenced by Charlies Angels star Farrah Fawcett.

Irony, sir? Oh, yes. We’ve got plenty of that. And don’t forget to buy the new Madonna album. Or her new iPod. Or one of those phones she’s advertising.

Read More:

Madonna slams ‘wicked world’ – Female First

[story by C J Davies]