Forget your sales projections and business models and all that other Dragon’s Den guff – if you really want to make money, you need to strap yourself into a giant glittery cross and sing bad techno like Madonna.

Because even though there is not a vaguely religious person in the world not staggering around clutching at their chest with offence at the crucifixion stunt that Madonna keeps doing on her current world tour, Madonna’s Confessions tour is now the highest-earning tour by a female artist ever, having taken around $193.7 million. Funnily enough, though, Madonna’s tour sold really badly – the $193.7 million figure only comes from the sale of ten of Madonna’s heavingly overpriced concert tickets, three of her concert programmes and a promotional ‘Madonna Hearts Jesus’ T-shirt bought in the lobby during the performance of one of Madonna’s rubbish songs.