Madonna Still Desperately Trying to Be the World’s Coolest Parent

MadonnaMadonna is really starting to come off like a total try-hard in the parenting department.  We get it, you’re Madonna.  You’re not going to be baking sugar cookies and attending PTA meeting in your cardigans and Toms.   No one is really expecting you to chaperone a field trip to some lame third rate production of “Hamlet.” 

But lately it’s like Madonna is just going overboard trying to prove how anti-typical mom she is, and instead of coming off as extra cool, she just appears extra lame.  And she is doing the majority of her ridiculousness on Instagram, something not really intended for a mother in her 50s.

Not too long ago, Madonna was making headlines because she decided to post some booze filled New Years Eve photos, very atypical of every 21-25 year old girl.  Except in this case, it wasn’t Madonna doing the overdone popped out arm pose with her besties, it was a photo of her 13 year old son and his friends all holding liquor bottles.  Added was a caption about bringing it in 2014.  I would assume underage alcoholism was what was being brought, but I don’t know.

Now Madonna has done it again, posting some more dumbassness on Instagram involving her son.   This time, it wasn’t the picture of Rocco that caused all the hoopla, it was Madonna’s choice of a hashtag.

Madonna Instagram

Andddd there it is. Hump a black Jesus in a music video and build one utterly failure of a school in Africa, and suddenly Madonna be thinking she people.  Like she can just say whatever she wants, even if it’s a racial slur, simply because she feels she has earned it.  How very Paula Deen.

Of course, Madonna doesn’t take any shit talking from anyone, so like the mature demure woman that she is, she changed the caption to the following.

Madonna Instagram 2

How classy (I know I know, I write like this and I am trying to judge someone else on class.  Let’s move on).   I think maybe someone is forgetting to take her menopause medication again.  You know how those hot flashes make you go a little cray cray, Madonna.

Once her hormones were back in check, Madonna came back with a much longer faux apology that reads like something like the bullshit apology I had to write in the 4th grade for shoving that bitch Amy when she called me slut for sharing my pudding snack with Jason Mullen.

“I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram. It was not meant as a racial slur.. I am not a racist. There’s no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention.. It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it’s a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me.”

Yup, she sounds just as remorseful as I did when I Crayola’d my sorry note, apologizing that Amy didn’t have better balance when I merely tried to “love tap” her away from me.  Also, since when did the n-word become a term of endearment from old white women to their kids?  What happened to “honey” or “pookie.”  Or my personal favorite, “My little parasite” hmm?

The picture has now since been deleted off Madonna’s Instagram and replaced with just more photos of Madonna looking scarily butchy at the gym herself.  I would rather see her post inappropriately tagged photos of her kids any day rather than see those veiny man hands all over my screen.  Shudder.

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