Madonna Squeezed Tupac For A Baby?
If we could wish one baby into the world, it would be a hybrid between Naomi Campbell and a velociraptor. It's because they both have those weird little arms. That's what made us think of it in the first place. That baby would be something else.
Now a baby we wouldn't wish on you would be a hybrid between Tupac Shakur and Madonna – Madge sure wanted to wish it on you though. If a new book is to be believed, in the mid-nineties Madonna yearned for Tupac's sweet seed to fester inside her. His seed had requirements though – requirements like full access to a bouncy convertible and a stomach tattoo artist.
Unfortunately back then Madonna's baby-processor had none of those, so Tupac walked on.
In the mid-nineties Madonna was a mid-thirties mess with a ticking biological clock and a whole closet stuffed full of dusty Gucci baby booties. It was a rough life for a superstar. We heard she went as far as trying to fertilise herself with the powder from several of her ground up gold records, but when the shimmering flakes from Like A Virgin came into egg-contact, the irony of it just stunted all possible growth. Yeah most of that's untrue.
What is true though, apparently, is that Madonna wanted a baby in the mid-nineties, and the man she turned to for sperm infiltration was a pre-assassination Tupac Shakur. As Female First puts it:
"The 'Hung Up' singer is said to have briefly dated the rapper a year before his death in 1996, and was desperate to start a family with him. Lucy O'Brien claims in her new book 'Madonna: Like an Icon': In her mid-30s Madonna desperately wanted children and had various relationships with unlikely men, in the hope she would conceive. But Madonna, now 49, was allegedly dumped by Tupac for not fitting in with his bad boy rapper image."
We think the two would have been perfect together. Think about it – Tupac used to be white so there'd be little to no racial strife. And even if Tupac was black – Madonna could've handled it. She ended up with a black family member anyway, right?
And as far as ruining the rapper's image – it wouldn't have happened. Madonna's got gap-teeth and haggard hands. If that ain't ghetto ain't nothing ghetto. Plus she only uses toilets once.
If you listen real close – the hood may still be calling her.
Did you hear that?
