Madonna is, by popular consensus, the Queen Of Reinvention.

She’s been a young, gum-chewing teen; a Marylin Monroe lookalike; a sleazy, bed-hopping floozy; the most beloved woman in Argentinian history; a terrible, terrible actress; and most recently, cockney lady of the manor. Now with a new album in the pipeline, Madonna’s unveiled her latest image – an old lady in a sling.

It wasn’t an intentional stylistic move to hobble about like a crocked zombie, though – Madonna managed to knacker herself by falling off a horse. And on her birthday, too. Aww.

There are two types of people in the world – people who know that
horses are arseholes, and people who are waiting to find out. And
yesterday, Madonna found out.

Madonna (CDs) toppled off her horse while celebrating her 47th birthday at her
Ashcombe House estate in Wiltshire with her husband – posh pretend cockney film director Guy Ritchie – and broke her hand, collar bone and
cracked three ribs. After a brief spell in Salisbury District Hospital,
she returned home.

According to Liz Rosenburg, Madonna’s New York spokesperson, "It happened around 4pm London time. Madonna is pretty banged up… Her
new disc is due this November and she is set to tour next summer. It’s
too soon to tell if the tour will be affected, but the press for the
disc will definitely be affected."

For around the next six weeks, Madonna’s cracked ribs will make it
hard for her to breathe, let alone sing. Or act. So at least it’s not all bad news.

[story by Stuart Heritage]