Madonna Rainbows Some Sheep, Shows No Remorse

Madonna is a complicated woman. In fact - some might say she's a whole bunch of women stuffed together under one great big cone-shaped bra.

There's the rock star Madonna that puts out movies about gay men tonguing empty bottles of coke, and there's the globally-conscious Madonna that probably reduces green house emissions by reading with only natural light, or by the light emitted from burning servants.

Then there's rural Madonna - all she wants to do is raise animals on a farm somewhere in England. Problem is rural Madonna seems to have been quite intertwined with eccentric fashion designer Madonna, because she's recently changed the colours of several animals she's raising to look like a ROY G BIV diagram, and animal rights folk are up in arms.

Madonna is a woman with problems. For instance, she can't eat corn on the cob without leaving a straight line of kernels consistently down the middle. Also, she's terrified people might soon learn she owns a flock of sheep that are completely normal in colour.

Who knows why she did it. Maybe she's trying to rent them out for Serta commercials and is looking to make them stand out. Or maybe she's experimenting with skin colour-change so that the next time she's in the mood for an ethnic child - she could just change one of her white ones. Whatever the reason, at some point Madonna coloured some of her pet sheep blue, pink, yellow and green. According to TMZ:

"Baaaaaaaad Madonna! Animal rights groups are pissed over a photo shoot from a few years back, where Madonna and Guy Ritchie dyed sheep different colours — all for a great looking magazine spread."

Unfortunately for Madonna, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is watching her like a well cared-for hawk. They are so mad the pop queen temporarily altered the colour of these poor suffering sheep they've issued statements like:

"We're gonna skin her jowls and make a lampshade"

and

"We shall run her through with our commemorative elephant tusk sabers! Thanks for those, by the way, Tanzania!"

Now keep in mind we said the animal folk only said things like those. If you want an exact quote you'll have to settle for this one:

"Why is it necessary and what are they trying to prove? It is an irresponsible publicity stunt. It sends out the wrong message about how to use animals."

What exactly the outcome of this tumultuous time in Madonna's life will be is as yet unknown. But hey, Royal Society of blah blah blah, at least the sheep weren't standing in pools of giraffe blood.

Read More:

Madonna's Sheep Spark Animal Rights Fury - Digital Spy