Madonna is very old and crotchety. Part of the problem is her not having anything good to wear when she rolls out of her money-stuffed bed in the morning.
Well Madonna doesn't have to worry anymore. She just inked a deal with a bunch of Swedes that'll see her broiled chicken-like skin covered in their clothing label for the remainder of her tour. Only offstage though.
On stage, Madonna feels that using a wardrobe from a neutral country would quash any statement being strapped to a giant disco cross is trying to make. Probably.
Swedish clothing chain H&M wants their clothes to sag all over Madonna's body, and the bodies of her touring party. The catch here is that H&M won't dress the first lady of controversy onstage – she's already spoken for there. Off stage, however, she's more than willing to be a foreigner's clothing rack. All parties related to the deal are thrilled, H&M said:
"Aside from being great fans of Madonna's music and fashion sense, we admire her ability to always be ahead of the trends in everything she does. We look forward to seeing how her touring family translates H&M's seasonal trends to their own personal looks."
While Madonna said:
"Partnering up with H&M feels like a perfect fit. We'll all get to express ourselves in our own individual ways."
We here at hecklerspray like to express ourselves in clothing and accessories too. For instance, when we wear the wristwatch our Grandpa gave us as he lay there in the coffin with his eyes sewn shut, you can know we're feeling glitzy. If we're wearing our 1988 Roxette concert T-shirt with the missing left sleeve and the cheese stain dribbled way down the front, you can know we're feeling our instincts in regards to the motives of others are amazingly accurate, but we don't necessarily have to do anything about it. That's why we're always able to create an atmosphere that is simultaneously of the moment and timeless. Also, that particular shirt implies we'd like a red popsicle right then.
[story by Shawn Lindseth]