In modern society it is typically considered both barbaric and uncivilised to behead somebody – whatever the reason.

In fact, beheadings are frowned upon so greatly that you can't even do it to prostitutes anymore. This seemingly ridiculous stipulation makes a tad more sense when you think how greasy hookers are generally the foundation of the world's entire economy. Take them out of the mix and struggling second-world countries would generally fall back to the mega-crappy third world category.

So feel safe prostitutes, and don't fret for your necks any more – as far as we're concerned you can keep your heads. Famous people just pretending to be prostitutes on the other hand – feel free to work them over with a meat cleaver. If you're Muslim that is. Or extreme Muslim anyway. Some Islamic guy recently said in a book that's about to spill forth upon the world that if he ever has the good fortune to meet Britney Spears or Madonna, he's gonna cut their necks in two.

It would seem Britney Spears has a lot more to worry about than a piss poor performance in front of millions of people. It would also seem that the cleanliness of Madonna's toilet seats has been bumped way down on her priority list – because some insane crazy guy has just threatened to cut their heads off.

Muhammad Abdel-Al is a big wig terrorist in some country called Palestine. We've never been there, but hear it most likely doesn't really exist. This Abdel-Al guy is sick and tired of people like Madge and Spears hopping about in little more than dental floss and plastic wrap. And darn it all he's gonna do something about it:

"If these two prostitutes keep doing what they are doing, we of course will punish them. First we will call them to join Islam. But if they keep what they are doing… we can stone them or kill them as we see fit if they keep tempting men in order to put them far from Islam. A prostitute woman must be stoned or must be hit eighty times with a belt."

So don't get too worried yet, because apparently the ladies have a way out. If they join Islam they shall be spared. This makes sense because we've heard that there are almost no female terrorist Muslim Islam prostitute members, while amongst the terrorist Muslim Islam terrorist members, all the men are insatiably horny.

It is more than likely that if Spears and Madonna do take the offer of Islamic membership as it's offered to them with a huge knife to their throats, the reward in heaven will be tremendous.

In fact, that sounds great. Sign us up too.

Read More:

Madonna And Britney's Beheading Threat – FemaleFirst