Madonna gave an amazing speech at the 24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday in New York City, marking on that day in history quite possibly the first time a Boy Scout uniform has been paired with fishnets and red lipstick. In public, anyway.
In her full BS finery, Madonna rocked the stage, systematically blasting the Boy Scouts of America for their small-minded and antiquated policy against gay membership, as well as touching on religious tolerance, bigotry, bullying, and Pussy Riot … and managing to invoke some of her own lyrics in the process.
Madonna was there to introduce award recipient, the delicious Anderson Cooper, and she made the most of her time at the podium. She began by joking about her thwarted aspirations of joining the Boy Scouts.
“I wanted to be a Boy Scout, but they wouldn’t let me join. I think that’s fucked up. I can build a fire. I know how to pitch a tent. … Most importantly, I know how to scout for boys.”
Then, jokes aside, she stated that she believes the Boys Scouts of America should “change their stupid rules” and the audience roared in agreement. From that point on, her speech bounced around, citing well-known news stories to make statements about intolerance in its various forms.
While it’s moderately challenging to take the words of 54-year old woman rocking a Boy Scout uniform seriously, she did make some lovely points. She seemed most present when she spoke about the bullying of gay, lesbian, and transgender youth, reminding the audience how personally she connects to that struggle as a parent of teenage children.
“When I think about young kids in America who are being bullied and tortured, who are taking their own lives because they feel alone and judged, outcast and misunderstood, I want to sit down and cry a river of tears … It’s an atrocity to me, I don’t accept it.”
She also managed to work in her thoughts on Pussy Riot’s imprisonment … and not just because she wanted to say their name out loud.
“If President Putin sat in a room with Pussy Riot — he’d probably want to fuck all of them, but anyways. If he did [meet with them] and he had an open dialogue with them about their point of view as young, creative women growing up in modern-day Russia, would he really have allowed them to be dragged away to prison for three years?”
Given Putin’s track record, I’m gonna say yes, he would have, to the latter question. And I suspect he pulls a somewhat higher quality ass than those Pussy Riot chicks … but I could be mistaken. Regardless, who can argue with a light touch of vulgarity to freshen up a socio-political rant?
Finally, showing her exasperation with pervasive small-mindedness, she said:
“I don’t know about you, but I can’t take this shit anymore … I want to start a revolution. It’s 2013 people. We live in America, land of the free and home of the brave? That’s a question, not a statement.”
Then she wound down. And Madge’s ending tribute to Anderson, while showcasing her characteristic vulgarity, was actually very touching.
“You are an excellent journalist. You have the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. And half of America is in love with you … maybe more than half. But the reason that I love you is because you’re a freedom fighter. You’re a badass mother-fucker. And you are brave. And the world needs more people like you.”
Once again, Madonna broke new ground. Not only as a fishnet-wearing Boy Scout, but also very likely as the first person to call Anderson Cooper a “badass mother-fucker.” He’s a lot of things, that dear Anderson, but that’s not necessarily the first descriptor that comes to mind.
When Anderson came to the stage, Madge and he made out so hard it knocked her jaunty, little hat askew. And gay men across the world wept tears of unbridled ecstasy.