Released last week on DVD rental, M. Night Shamalayans’ The Village falls short of being a movie with a plot, in that it appears to be plotless. Once again the thriller writer and director has created another hype-fuelled film which surpasses even ‘Signs’ with Mel Gibson as being the worst film ever…

The film about a remote country village and their fear of creatures in the woods, outlines the weak plotline. ‘Those we do not speak of’ is how the creatures are referred to in the film, illustrating the fact that none shall ever speak of this film if they ever want to keep any friends.

The films tiresome and wafer-thin attempted olde English dialogue, eventually begins to cause irritation and sets internal anger brewing because it serves no purpose of interest whatsoever. Chaucer be damned.

The highly-acclaimed introductory performance of Bryce Dallas Howard, daughter of Ron Howard, is so feeble that hecklerspray didn’t realise that her character was blind until halfway through the film. More acting lessons, please.

J. Phoenix is recalled by Shamalayans once again, but to no avail. He is once again playing a character with no backbone whose written dialogue must be catering for the mentally impaired moviegoers. Check out the parody of his infamous ‘the dogs are acting weird’ line (from ‘Signs’) in Scary Movie 3.

Tragically, there is yet another A-lister who with his role seems to have now stooped below the C, D or even F-list celebrity. Oscar winner Adrian Brody plays the village crazy person quite well, but this farce of a film will go down as one of his flop roles which can only end up hurting his career.

So whatever next from M. Night Shamalayan? Another crap thriller designed to trick you to get in the cinema, whereupon you might become a threat to others as outrage kicks in?

hecklerspray hopes not. We’re not prone to begging, but PLEASE: NO MORE.