Lung-Scabbed Hanson Brother Considerably Less Lung-Scabbed

Being in Hanson is one long test - if you're not gritting your teeth through yet another performance of MMMbop or secretly wanting to thump Baby Hanson in the face then you're putting up with pulmonary embolism almost killing you.

Just ask Isaac Hanson, the oldest member of Hanson and the one with the most distressed forehead. Last week Isaac Hanson shocked the parts of the world where people still remember Hanson by suddenly developing a bunch of blood clots that flutter-kicked their way into his lungs and almost killed him mid-tour. But this is a story with a happy ending because Isaac Hanson has had surgery successfully performed on his nearly-dead body and now Hanson plan to resume their tour right where they left off, playing decade-old songs in ever-smaller venues to people who haven't recognised them since they chopped off their Timotei girl haircuts. OK, so it's not all good news, admittedly.

When you're in the rock and roll business, you're prone to anything from breast cancer to falling out of a coconut tree onto your head. It's just an occupational hazard, like when midwives get caught stealing babies from hospital. But sometimes these occupational hazards can almost kill you, as Isaac Hanson from mostly-forgotten 1990s teen-pop annoyances Hanson discovered last week when his lungs started filling up with scabs for the second time in three years.

Clearly Isaac Hanson's near-fatal condition was a worry to the rest of Hanson, not just because they're all brothers and the personal grief would be indescribably painful, but also because a) if Isaac Hanson died then there'd be nobody left to sing the middle eight in Where's The Love and b) it'd mean that Irritating Hanson Drummer-Child would have got shunted up the ranks from Lieutenant-Colonel Hanson to Isaac's current role of Brigadier Hanson, provided that the effeminate singer Field-Marshall Hanson sanctioned the promotion. Anyway, this is all irrelevant because Isaac Hanson has been successfully surgeried upon and is ready to rock the world again, albeit with a prescription for blood thinner in his pocket. The Dallas Morning News reports:

The brothers – Isaac, Zac and Taylor Hanson – plan to resume a national tour… that was interrupted Tuesday when Isaac noticed sudden swelling and stiffness in one of his arms during a show in Dallas. He underwent the surgery at Baylor Medical Center in Dallas on Thursday, and an elastic bandage still covered his right forearm on Saturday. "I'm lucky to be here," said 26-year-old Isaac Hanson. He said it wasn't the first time he has developed blood clots that traveled through his body to his lungs, a sometimes-fatal condition that is known as pulmonary embolism. The same thing happened three years ago, he said."And I was really young for that," he said. "Usually it happens to people into their 30s."

Even though we haven't had a single thought about Hanson since the mid-to-late 1990s, it's a huge relief to know that Isaac Hanson is going to be fine and that he plans to have permanent surgery on his condition. Let's just hope that this is just a one-off incident - if we hear that the bassist out of The New Radicals has been struck down with systemic lupus erythematosus then we just don't know what we'll do.

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Isaac Hanson Returns Home, Plans To Resume Tour - Dallas Morning News