Live 8: Geldof Angry At eBay

Bob Geldof has got typically angry at people using eBay to sell their Live 8 tickets for profit. It seems that no matter what he tries to do, it always backfires.

Bob Geldof wants to send fleets of boats across the channel to pick up
continental protesters, but it’s made angry people worry about immigrants. He plans a series of big free Live 8 concerts to help African poverty, then fills them full of doddery old musicians. He tries to give the Live 8 tickets away as a gesture of goodwill, but people try and sell them on eBay. And by jove, he’s had enough.

Speaking for Live 8, Geldof raged at eBay. "I am sick with this. The people who are selling it are miserable wretches but far worse is the corporate culture which capitalises on people’s misery".

To be fair, he’s got a point. Ticket touts are a pain in the arse.
At least on eBay they’re not shrieking "Joy Zipper tickets! Buying and
selling!" at ear-cracking volume outside Shepherds Bush tube station
when you’re in a hurry, but the principle’s the same.

However, just because there are a few greedy people who want to make some
money from Live 8 on eBay, it doesn’t mean that eBay itself is evil. In
fact, you can buy a whole load of crazy crap there. Like these fine, fine items…

MICHAEL JACKSON NOT GUILTY TOAST! - A man made some toast the morning before the Michael Jackson verdict was read out. And eerily, one piece had the words ‘Not Guilty’ written on it, and the other had a sort of weird looking face and the word ‘YEAH’. And now it’s been put up for sale.

There’s a week left on the toast, and the current price is $5.50. What are you waiting for? Bid on the toast!

ADVERTISE ON THE WORLD’S UGLIEST CAT!
- There’s a cat. An ugly cat with no hair. Called Wormy. Wormy gets
cold. You can pay to advertise your company or product on T-shirts and
sweaters that the Wormy will wear. For five years. Why would you want
to do this? Well, "he is the face of the future".

There are 9 days left to buy this piece of cat advertising history, but you have to part with $15,000 for the privilege. Bid on Wormy the ugly hairless cat!

CELEBRITY AIR! - The air that celebrities breathe is clean
and pure and nutritious. The air you breathe is dirty and squalid. All
celebrities, even the crap ones on Celebrity Love Island, are a thousand times better than you could ever even imagine yourself to be.

So why not spend your slave money on a jar of air that’s been close to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
That’s right, someone got close to them and put their air in a jar. And
you can buy that jar. And call it your ’special jar’. And show all your
friends. Even though you know that if Angelina Jolie had a jar of your
air, she’d be far too embarrassed to show to any of her fabulous
friends.

There are six days left to buy the jar of air, and the current price is $67.66. Bid on the celebrity air!

We’re not sure what our point was. Something about Live 8, we think.

[story by Stuart Heritage]