Michael Jackson’s aborted comeback shows were dubbed This Is It. And his new movie is called This Is It.
Now Michael Jackson has a new song. Guess what it’s called. That’s right – it’s called Mr Dingleberry’s Enchanted Bloodhound. No, no it’s not. It’s also called This Is It. And the good news is that, provided that Free As A Bird is your favourite Beatles song and you feel that Tupac Shakur never really came into his own until several years after he died, it isn’t completely awful.
You want to listen to Michael Jackson’s This Is It, don’t you? Oh, go on then.
Michael Jackson’s death has taught us all two exceptionally valuable lessons. Lesson number one is that you probably shouldn’t take medical-grade anaesthetic on a recreational basis, and lesson number two is that death can actually increase your productivity by up to 75%.
Because what did Michael Jackson do in his last few years? Not a lot – there were all the lawsuits, obviously, and the occasional bout of transvestitism to keep him occupied, but that was about it. Even his comeback shows didn’t sound particularly heartening, what with the postponements and the rumours of ill health and the contractual obligations to only appear onstage for 13 minutes per concert. But now he’s dead? There’s no stopping Michael Jackson.
Seriously. Not only has Michael Jackson made a movie from beyond the grave, but he’s also recorded a new song to accompany it. Well, we say ‘new song’, but he actually recorded it in 1991. And then decided that it wasn’t very good. Not even good enough to be a b-side. Not even better than Earth Song. And so he locked it away so that it could never be heard. And now, probably on the basis that the first line of the song also happens to be the title of his new movie, it’s being released as a transparently opportunistic single.
But, on the plus side, at least This Is It is better than the last posthumous music we heard from him, on the basis that it’s an entire song and it hasn’t been ripped off from an underwhelming song on the Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas soundtrack. And it’s all over the internet, too. Here, have a listen…
If you listen closely enough to This Is It, you’ll hear Michael Jackson’s brothers harmonising on backing vocals. This is down to the verbal arrangement that Michael Jackson had with his brother Jermaine on his deathbed whereby Jermaine agreed to appear on every single last piece of posthumous Michael Jackson merchandise, even if he logically doesn’t even have anything to do with it and the merchandise ends up appearing inferior in comparison. It would have been a written arrangement, but Michael was too ill to sign the contract and then the contract burst into flames and blew away in the wind. Jermaine isn’t making it up, you know.
Anyway, if you’re a fan of This Is It, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s just one of 200 unreleased Michael Jackson songs that will be released over the course of the next few years. So just 198 stories identical to this and we can all go home.