Because she’s pregnant, Lisa Marie Presley has very naturally bloated out to the size of, say, Luxembourg – but that doesn’t mean she’s very happy about it.

You see, Lisa Marie Presley was only forced into confirming the pregnancy because The Daily Mail ran some pictures of her looking so fat that you’d think she needed to be transported everywhere on a reinforced forklift truck.

But Lisa Marie Presley isn’t fat, she’s pregnant. And so wounded by the thought that a British newspaper would have the nerve to call her fat that she’s suing The Daily Mail. Nobody knows what Lisa Marie Presley will spend her damages on if she’s successful, but the smart money’s on cake. Cake and biscuits. And pies. Oh, and sausages. Lots of delicious sausages.