It’s no wonder Lindsay Lohan’s having trouble keeping off the hooch – having her parents would be enough to drive Mother Theresa to drink her liver to kingdom come.
The pair have been in a constant battle since their split in 2005, with Dina doing everything from accusing her ex-husband of beating her whilst off his tits on cocaine to a drunken interview with Dr Phil. In between his constant press releases bashing Dina and telling everyone that Lindsay is a mess, Michael even found the time to pen an open letter to his daughter in the form of a song. Like the Von Trapps, if The Sound Of Music was set in a trailer park rather than Austria.
The latest chapter in this never-ending saga involves a lie detector test, a reality TV show, and Dina refusing to pee in plastic cup.
As classy as ever, Dina has been paid $50,000 to air the family’s dirty laundry on a new Dr Phil-style talk show that aims to settle disputes. Nowhere has reported how much Michael received for his contribution, but no doubt it will all come to light in his next essay to TMZ.
According to Radar Online, Dina refused to take the lie detector and urine tests that the show requested (Michael did both), which resulted in the two screaming at each other onstage and Dina requesting that security escort her off the premises. Michael told Radar:
“It’s really, really sad that Dina couldn’t be forthright and be honest. It’s a shame that although I took not only the lie detector and urine test, she refused to take both.”
They both claim to be acting in their eldest daughter’s best interests, which is odd considering that this spat has resulted in both parents deciding not to show up to Lindsay’s family therapy session in rehab, which was supposed to be this weekend. Well, a sober and well-behaved Lindsay would be no use to her attention-hungry parents at all. They’d end up hanging around the E! studios trying to convince people they are sixth and seventh members of The Saturdays.
Maybe the solution is to lock them both in rehab with Lindsay until they learn to pull themselves together and support their kids. That, or pile them both into a cannon and point it in the direction of the nearest desert island.