At this point in her life, Lindsay Lohan could probably use the firm hand of someone she trusts to guide her.
So long as it’s not Michael Lohan. Putting Michael Lohan in charge of Lindsay Lohan would be a catastrophic mistake. Put Michael Lohan in charge of Lindsay Lohan’s career and he’ll make her star in reality shows and Michael Lohan: The Motion Picture. Put Michael Lohan in charge of Lindsay Lohan’s finances and he’ll spend it all on shoes to hit people with. Put Michael Lohan in charge of Lindsay Lohan’s personal life and he’ll force her to date a misshapen life-size papier mache figurine of himself. It’s a mistake.
So it’s a shame to reveal that Michael Lohan is apparently serious about getting full conservatorship of Lindsay Lohan. We’d be happy about this if we sold shoes or papier mache for a living – but we don’t, so we aren’t.
This week alone Lindsay Lohan has been sacked from a film, banned from a chain of nightclubs for hurling a glass at Sam Ronson‘s head and accused of being $600,000 in debt. Her life, no matter how you choose to look at it, is in the toilet. There is no possibly way that her circumstances could be any worse than they currently are.
Oh, wait, hang on. Yes they could. Michael Lohan could be put in charge of her.
That would make things spectacularly worse than they currently are. Then you’d have Michael Lohan (a notorious fame-seeking opportunist who abandoned his family, only to come crawling back when he caught a sniff of money) looking after Lindsay Lohan (a trainwreck of a former childstar who hates Michael Lohan enough to dedicate around 85% of her Twitter feed to slagging him off in bizarrely fractured English). It’d be like Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, except worse because the golden days of Baby Jane’s fantasies would largely revolve around Herbie: Fully Loaded.
But that hasn’t stopped Michael Lohan from taking the first steps towards becoming Lindsay Lohan’s official Britney Spears-style conservator. The Denver Post reports:
Lindsay Lohan‘s dad, Michael Lohan, told TMZ yesterday that he was heading to his lawyer’s office to get the ball rolling on a conservatorship over Lindsay. Michael reportedly gave Lindsay an ultimatum — either meet with him right then or he’s going to court. Lindsay nixed the idea, sources told TMZ, although she did text him to ask for his support to smooth things over.
Michael Lohan’s conservatorship of Lindsay Lohan almost certainly won’t happen – traditionally it’s hard to take control of someone’s life if you’re just as messed up as they are – but we’d like to know why he’s even trying. It can’t be because he cares about Lindsay’s welfare, because he got police to raid her home a few days ago. It can’t be for her money, because she’s reportedly in so much debt. So why, then? Maybe Michael Lohan is just a dick. Maybe that’s it. Maybe he’s just a dick.
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Everyone keeps saying her father is trying to take over her finances and her mother yammers on about how he is only after her money. What money??? She doesn’t have any. She owes over $600,000. Maybe if her father can get her into rehab she might someday make something, but for now. NO. Her life is a wreck, Hollywood will not touch her and she has no skills.
She might need help, but a court-appointed stranger who is a professional conservator would be better than her fame-whoring, criminal father.
I think it’s a good idea for somebody to take conversatorship over Lindsay because Lindsay definitely needs somebody to save her, put her in rehab, take control of her finances. But that somebody shouldn’t be her father who is nothing more than a fame whore. I’d like to believe that Michael really cares for his daughter, but I doubt that because if he did care, he wouldn’t be blabbing to the media all the time, he would’ve just keep everything private. I hope Lindsay can be saved, I just don’t think Michael is the one to do it, he’ll just make everything worse!