Another Week in Lindsay Lohan’s Crazy Stupid Life

Lindsay Lohan used to be normalThis week was just like any other week, really. People went to work. Families had dinner. And some dramatic shit happened to Lindsay Lohan.

The world turns.

Within the same week, Lindsay Lohan 1) has had her probation revoked, making jail a very real possibility (kind of), and; 2) is set to have her storage unit auctioned off. Anyone need any stolen necklaces, blonde hair extensions or half-used bottles of bronzer?

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan has an outstanding bill with a storage company that’s hoarding some of her crap. So what is it, a couple hundred bucks? Can’t these people let a couple hundred bucks slide for a distressed celebrity?

Even if they were that lame, the bill is $16,000. So yeah. That could be someone’s salary.

TMZ reported that inside the storage locker are designer duds, family heirlooms and items that are “potentially embarrassing.” Sounds interesting. At any rate, if Lohan doesn’t fork over the money, the unit will be auctioned off within the next couple of weeks.

Oh and, of course, Michael Lohan is saying things. According to him, Lindsay has recently turned down some endorsement offers. One deal was for $100,000–all she had to do was promote an app that blocks unwanted calls. Another deal was a $30,000 spot for a “don’t drink and drive” PSA. Michael told RadarOnline:

“At a time like this with Lindsay’s IRS woes and $16,000 in unpaid storage, (valued at hundreds of thousands of dollars) running the risk of it all being auctioned off, it’s absolutely crazy that her team would disregard these deals!! If Lindsay’s things in storage were to get auctioned, wouldn’t that be even more embarrassing?! Have the things said lately been embarrassing themselves?”

Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor

And that’s not the only financial trouble Lindsay’s in. The IRS is now after her for over $200,000 worth of taxes she owes. TMZ says Lohan is having trouble paying the rent at her $8,000/month Beverly Hills mansion.

Meanwhile, if that’s not enough to make for a shitty week, Lohan’s probation has been revoked. As ABC News reports:

“The 26-year-old actress was arraigned in California today on misdemeanor charges for lying to police, driving recklessly, and obstructing an officer from doing his duties after she crashed her Porsche on the Pacific Coast Highway in June.”

So much crap has happened since then, I nearly forgot about that. At any rate, she’s facing up to eight months in jail, and she’s set to have a hearing on January 15th. The Commissioner in charge of her hearing, however, isn’t “a big jail person” and reportedly favors counseling over jail time. According to TMZ, this particular commissioner even holds graduation ceremonies for offenders that complete a counseling program, presenting them with Starbucks gift cards.

So there’s a chance Lindsay Lohan could not only get away with all this, but she might just get a free latte out of it, too.

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