Lindsay Lohan has been threatening to turn into a real bore after knocking drink and drugs on the head and seemingly not stealing some jewels from a shop. She’s wandering into nun territory and we’re not talking about the funny nuns from the movies. We mean proper, boring, pious nuns.
However, fear not! Thankfully, her dad, Michael Lohan is on hand to liven up the party!
That’s right kiddiekins, Lohan Snr was arrested on three felony charges in West Hollywood after a female companion accused him of domestic violence at a nearby apartment, according to the police. As Rodney King will testify, the LA police department are a trustworthy source of information and moral fortitude.
Lohan was booked for inflicting something called a ‘corporal injury on a cohabitant’ as well as the terrifically exciting sounding ‘false imprisonment’ and ‘preventing a report of victimization’, says Lt. John Ratto (who is actually a human-sized rat-man).
Ratto says:
“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”
Booooo! Whatever happened to people flailing the arms and kicking their legs shouting “YEAH? I’M BEING BRUTALIZED! LOOK! AARGH!” when getting arrested? We like those arrests the best when we watch cruddy police camera shows.
Lt. Ratto added that Lohan, while at the station, conveniently recalled that he might have a medical condition or something which may make him act a bit cuckoo.
Michael Lohan’s bail has been set at $200,000 which will be great news for LiLo who needs to go to court this week and decide whether she’ll accept a plea deal with jail time or go to trial in her felony grand theft case.
Happy happy joy joy.
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