It’s about time that people started taking Lindsay Lohan’s career a little bit more seriously again.

Enough’s enough. True, over the last few years Lindsay Lohan’s life has descended into a hellish spiral of booze, drugs, rehabs, lesbianism and woeful straight-to-DVD movies, but now it’s time for all of that to stop. And Lindsay Lohan can only achieve career rebirth by being full and frank about her various problems in a mature and adult way. No more blaming her dad for everything – if Lindsay Lohan wants to be taken seriously, she’s going to need to take responsibility for her own actions.

And that’s exactly what she’s done. In an interview with The Sun, Lindsay Lohan has opened her heart about her history of substance abuse. Apparently it’s all her dad’s fault. Oh.

We’ll say this for Lindsay Lohan – when she grabs onto a subject she doesn’t let it go. That’s why Herbie: Fully Loaded was such a thorough exploration of magical winking cars, for example. It’s also why, when Lindsay Lohan grabbed onto the subject of drugs, she wouldn’t let go until she’d been arrested twice, thrown in jail, notched up a night at every rehab facility on Earth and was given a court-appointed order to stare at dead people for several hours at a time.

But now, if Lindsay Lohan is to be believed, she’s off drugs. And now the prematurely-haggard, witch-voiced, puffy-faced, creatively-bankrupt hasbeen is the model of healthy living. Now when kids see Lindsay Lohan, they don’t see the evils of drugs incarnate. Instead they think “Wow, that’s the healthiest elderly transvestite I’ve ever seen! I want to be just like him when I’m on the brink of death!”

And now that she’s supposedly off drugs, Lindsay Lohan is ready to describe her cocaine hell in all its grisly detail. By which we mean she’s going to blame her dad for everything that’s ever gone wrong in her life. Lindsay told The Sun:

“When my father was going public, that’s when I hit rock bottom. I abused substances too much and it wasn’t the answer to my problems. People need to know that. I tried to mask my problems with alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances. Now I’m in a place where I don’t need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to… I was only aware of cocaine because of my dad.”

Good for Lindsay Lohan. She’s grown enough to look her problems right in the eye and realise that they’re all down to her dad not hugging her enough as a baby. Hopefully Lindsay’s full and uncompromising discussion about her drug and alcohol abuse will be enough to make Hollywood producers sit up and take notice of her again. Because, honestly, every day where there isn’t an I Know Who Killed Me 2 feels like a month spent being stabbed in the heart. Make it right, Hollywood. Make it right.

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