Lindsay Lohan Kills Off Any Chance of Her Being Interesting Again With Gay Wedding
Then buzz it up
August 4th, 2008 at 19:00 by Ian Dransfield
Well she’s finally gone and done it - at one time she was one of hecklerspray’s mainstays, attracting thousands through our doors with the mere mention of her name.
Now she never does anything exciting - never gets her bits out after a night on the lash (or even intentionally), never gets into public spats with other drunken little girls - she doesn’t even get hit by motorbikes any more. Yes folks, Lindsay Lohan has become a great big pile of dull for us to cover here at hecklerspray towers. We mean, sure, her sister is attempting to whip up some controversy, thus making us all smile, but it just doesn’t have the same effect.
Lindsay just had something about her that made you laugh even harder when she did something completely moronic.
And now, if reports are to be believed, it seems that Lindsay Lohan is going to get married to her partner Sam Ronson. Oh, for those in the dark, that’s ‘Sam’ as in ‘Samantha’. Lindsay decided she preferred girls, then went dull. It’s always the way with old friends, isn’t it?
When we reported the apparent engagement of Lindsay and Sam all the way back in May there was a lot of speculation surrounding the story, with some pretty baseless info being thrown around. A classic Lohan story, in other words. And in the fine traditions of hecklerspray, the wedding reports are being handled in exactly the same way, with numerous ’sources’ and random news sites being consulted for the prime-rib info on the matter.
As well as to check whether she’s gone and got naked while pissed up and set fire to an orphanage or something. Just for old time’s sake, you know?
But no - this would appear to be a new Lindsay Lohan. One very much in love with her femi-beau Sam Ronson and one happy to declare her love in a private ceremony later this year, after California overturned its ban on gay marriage.
Wait - “private”? See, with this new Lindsay we could believe that, but then sources have told the media that:
“They’ve been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as ‘just good friends’. But they’ve decided it isn’t a fling, it’s for life - so they want to make their romance public. Dina is still working on the date of the party but it’s looking like towards the end of the year.”
Yes kids - Dina Lohan is organising it. Does anyone else want to place bets on how private this whole thing is actually going to be? Put hecklerspray down for ‘not very’.
Hopefully Dina can put some of her ever-present pushy mum influence into the ceremony and we can have the very public, very embarrassing event that we are all clearly hoping for, with a drunk, stumbling Lindsay slurring about threatening to fight lamp posts.
Not that we’d wish any ill health or unhappiness on the girl, obviously. We’re just quite bored without her being herself.
Related and recent:
- Lindsay Lohan This Close To Marrying Samantha Ronson, Maybe
- Lindsay Lohan’s Dad Won’t Take Her up the Aisle
- Michael Phelps May Cure Lindsay Lohan of Being Boring
- Lindsay Lohan Denies Boobs Embargo
- Lindsay Lohan Gives Herself 10 Years To Get Married
- Lindsay Lohan Still Not Done Yammering On About Herself
- Lindsay Lohan Loves Girls. And Boys. But Probably Not Animals
- Lindsay Lohan Knows Where Her Head Is Or Something



August 4th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
its every man’s dream to turn a hot lesbian back to the straight and narrow!
August 5th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Look! Look! He’s got an avatar! How did he do that?
August 5th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Oh, wait, I seem to have sussed it. Cool.
August 6th, 2008 at 11:30 am
[...] reasons. Big Mike has decided he can’t walk his daughter down the aisle should her rumoured gay wedding come to fruition, as it would go against his born-again Christianity belief [...]
August 20th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
[...] girl that could well be a lesbian, who may well be having a wedding to Samantha Ronson, who used to get off her face on all manner of things all the time and made up [...]
September 1st, 2008 at 12:13 pm
i actually like her again. cuz shes not an asshole anymore, tbh she’s alot better this way maybe she’ll actually do another good movie again. labor pains? *crosses fingers*
September 6th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I want an avatar thingy too! How do I get one of those?