hecklerspray has some experience with dead bodies. When we were 17 we found our uncle Mort slumped over in his favorite chair.

We tried desperately to resuscitate him – mouth to mouth, chest compressions, feeding him sausage…but it didn't work because he'd been dead for a month and rats had already hollowed him out. Also we once had a snake that died.

All  our experience with stiffs tells us this – Lindsay Lohan is about to have an eye opening experience – but hopefully it'll just be her eyes opening. If it's the eyes of one of the deceased she'll be working around in the morgue, as she's recently been court-ordered to do, she should get the heck out of there before her delicious brain gets eaten.

Lindsay Lohan is still paying the price for her drunken car steering. As she should be – Lohan owes a great debt to society, and nobody can help her pay it but herself. And maybe 50 Cent.

Lindsay's most recent court order is to maybe wipe condensation off dead bodies, and then perhaps to intravenously pump candle wax into them so the dead stay perfectly preserved, and bendable like Gumby, forever. It would be fun to make them look like they were standing and waving.

An exact description of what she'll be doing hasn't actually been given, People Magazine does tell us this though:

"In an effort to illustrate the potentially fatal consequences of drinking and driving, she's set to spend two, 4-hour days in a morgue. After that, she'll spend two days working in an emergency room."

The emergency room would be good too. If she'd just hold off on that one 6 – 9 months she could be there the night the Spears sisters go into labor together.

She might even have to cut them.

Read More:

Lohan to Work in Morgue As Punishment – Associated Press