In less than a week, newly rehab-fresh Lindsay Lohan has been arrested for DUI with drugs in her pocket, had her claims of innocence scoffed at by everyone and heard the terrified 911 call that prompted her arrest – so she may as well get sued too.
Dante Nigro and Jakon Sutter, the passengers in the car that Lindsay Lohan apparently decided to give boozy chase to her assistant's mother in, have hired an attorney to help claim the monetary compensation that being trapped in a car with a high-speed, furiously-drunk Lindsay Lohan deserves. Another man is claiming that Lindsay Lohan drove over his foot. So you can get money when Lindsay Lohan causes you pain and distress now? Cool – we've seen I Know Who Killed Me, so we're probably in for quite the windfall if that's the case.
It's probably not an exaggeration to say that Lindsay Lohan hasn't had a week this bad since members of McFly started hitting on her. A few days out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan should now be sticking meticulously to the straight and narrow, accepting the charges to her last DUI arrest like a man and trying to get film studios to take her seriously again.
But that plan went out the window at roughly the same time that Lindsay Lohan decided to chase another car about all erratically in the early hours of Tuesday morning with a load of cocaine in her trousers and an illegal amount of alcohol in her blood. Lindsay Lohan was promptly arrested for DUI again, prompting talk of a mandatory jail sentence that not even a grammatically sloppy text message of innocence can stop. And yet it keeps getting worse.
Thanks to police releasing the near-hysterical 911 call from her old assistant's mother, the public has an idea of how terrifying Lindsay Lohan was apparently being before her arrest, and now everyone with even the vaguest connection to the car she was driving appears to want to sue Lindsay Lohan all the way to kingdom come. Forbes reports the accounts of Dante Nigro, Jakon Sutter and Ronnie Blake, picking up after Lindsay Lohan's assistant quit and drove off:
Lohan snatched his [Nigro's] keys, which were still in the ignition of his SUV, jumped into the driver's seat and gave chase. As the car accelerated, Blake said, he managed to jump out, but the vehicle ran over his foot. He was limping and walking with a cane Friday, his attorney said … "So we start pleading with her, 'Can you please stop the car," Sutter said. "She says, 'I can't get in trouble, I'm a celebrity, I can do whatever the … I want," Nigro said.
Ah, the old 'I'm a celebrity, I can do whatever the … I want' line. We've tried it ourselves, to the manager of the local Starburger as he caught us trying to steal one too many sachets of tomato sauce for our chips. Anyway, it's as yet unclear what damages Nigro, Sutter and Blake want from Lindsay Lohan, or even whether the attorney they hired will go as far as a lawsuit or try to settle everything out of court.
One thing's for sure, though – if Lindsay Lohan ever made a film as exciting as her real life, we'd be down in the front row with our popcorn like a shot. Actually, scrap that – because that film would still have Lindsay Lohan in it, wouldn't it? We don't want to see it that much.
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