We're aware that it's no longer strictly news when Lindsay Lohan gets taken to court for driving around drunk – mainly because it happens about 900 times a day – but not much else has happened today so we're going to anyway.
Although Lindsay Lohan is currently safely ensconced in deepest Utah, undergoing a vicious redneck, jello-based rehab treatment, it doesn't mean that she's managed to avoid getting sued for driving around like the world's drunkest orangutan. This time Lindsay Lohan is being sued for a car crash she had two years ago, even though at the time she was legally found to be clean of alcohol and illegal drugs, with the police also ruling that the person responsible for the crash was the same van driver who's just decided to sue Lindsay Lohan for it now. You're right, this is looking dangerously like a pro-Lindsay Lohan article. No, we don't like it either. What to do… what to do…
Lindsay Lohan, eh? What a ginger bell-end.
Phew, that was a close one.
Think of Lindsay Lohan in a car and you might think of Lindsay Lohan ploughing off a road drunk, or you may think of Lindsay Lohan furiously chasing another car drunk with cocaine in her pockets. The more unlucky among you may even think of Lindsay Lohan in Herbie: Fully Loaded, in which case you have our undying sympathy.
But while Lindsay Lohan will soon get the punishment that endangering the lives of several people by irresponsibly driving at high speeds with chronically impaired skills – that's a day in jail to you – her past driving mishaps are coming back to haunt her harder than ever. Even though Lindsay Lohan went to rehab then left rehab then went to rehab then left rehab then went to rehab again in order to shake off the startling demons that propel her towards driving like a fucking idiot, it seems like Lindsay will never be able to effectively shake the ghosts of her past off.
Those ghosts now include Raymundo Ortega, who was involved in one of Lindsay Lohan's earliest car crashes back in October 2005, when Lindsay Lohan collided with a van in Los Angeles and then ran off to hide in an antiques shop. This was a unique crash for Lindsay Lohan, as it was pretty much the only one she's ever been in where she wasn't found to be off her face on booze and drugs at the time. It might also be the only crash that wasn't Lindsay Lohan's fault – the van driver was found to be making an illegal turn at the time of the crash. The van driver, of course, was Raymundo Ortega. And Raymundo Ortega is the man who's now suing Lindsay Lohan for a) causing the crash and b) being drunk when the crash happened. Go figure. BBC News reports:
On Tuesday, Superior Court Judge Michael L Stern rejected a motion that argued that Mr Ortega's legal action lacked legal sufficiency. A trial was set for 7 April 2008. "This case is about responsibility and she's not taking responsibility," Mr Ortega's lawyer, Robert G Klein, said outside court in Los Angeles. Mr Ortega is seeking at least $200,000 (£100,000) in damages… "It appears it's the van's fault for making an illegal U-turn," a police spokesman was quoted as saying [at the time]. He added that no drink or drugs were involved in the crash.
We really don't know where to side here. On the one hand, Raymundo Ortega is either a legal genius or a complete moron to try and sue Lindsay Lohan for being drunk in a crash that the police said he caused while also noting that Lindsay Lohan wasn't drunk. At the same time, it is Lindsay Lohan we're talking about here, and she is a nobsack. What to do… what to do…
If you need us we'll be stitching together out 'Go Raymundo Go!' banner to wave around outside the courtroom.
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