New BBC 3 show Lily Allen And Friends is in trouble. And not just due to the rubbish title – although surely a more accurate name would be Lily Allen And A Bunch Of Z-List Hangers-On Who'll Vanish As Soon As Her Fame Begins To Dwindle, Therefore Leaving Her With Nothing Better To Do Than Record An Embarrassing Christmas 2009 Novelty Record With Her Father.
The idea seemed like a rating winner at first. Get one of the most high profile pop stars of the moment to front an inane and unchallenging chatfest with some equally dim celebrity mates.
Then? Then came the studio recording, and the point at which things didn't so much go downhill as start tunnelling to the centre of the Earth like that weird drill-vehicle from The Core. And – after disappointing the live audience so much that a good percentage of them walked out – Lily has now seen this failure to engage reflected in the broadcast arena.
Only two percent of the potential audience tuned in to see Lily wheel out her cockernee accent and prance around before the cameras on Tuesday night, and it's not known how many of them actually enjoyed the sight of something approximating a Primrose Hill primary school child auditioning for Oliver.
Of course, the obvious reason for such a disaster would be that people thought the show would be roughly as entertaining as snorting ground-up fibreglass. But let's give the Lilster a chance – maybe that wasn't the only factor for the failure. It's entirely possible that the BBC 3 audience – confronted with something that wasn't an episode of Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps – found themselves so bewildered that they had to immediately turn over before their skulls exploded.
Besides – broadcasting this on a Tuesday? Like, duh. Are you totally unaware of Lily Allen's target demographic? Don't you know it's their weekly How To Pretend To Be 'Street' When You're Actually A Privately-Educated Twat class over in Highgate? You really should come along next time – Tarquin's really developed that Brixton twang, and Isabel's new dreadlocks are just totally awesome.
Whatever the reason, the BBC has put on a brave face on this whole fiasco and called it a 'solid start'. Nevertheless, one can't really help but feel that poor old Lily won't be getting a second series. Man oh man – she must be really worried about her future in the industry. After all, it's not as though she has a famous television personality father and film producer mother with which to continually leech undeserved exposure and opportunities off, is it?
Oh.
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JohnofScribbleSheet says
Wasn’t the demise of this programme inevitable?
a humble servant of beelzebub's cousin Rita says
good now after having so much offered to her based solely on her talent and experience – a medicore fashion line and a show noone watched, maybe they will offer her the prime ministers job. We could watch Lily giggling through whether she should deport a Sudanese refugee and putting all her chums like Amy Winehouse and Fat Face Osbourne into the cabinet and humming ‘ska’ choons no Black person would get away with whilst we all get repossessed and die horribly under her fickle policies …….’I’m sorry I can’t be Prime Minister today I feel too fat next to David Cameron.’