When Lily Allen got into a fight with the stupid one from Girls Aloud, it changed her outlook for the better; now Lily Allen is a little slower to slag off other celebrities on her blog – except for Lindsay Lohan, obviously, but that goes without saying.
Following Lindsay Lohan's potentially drug-fuelled car crash arrest this weekend, Lily Allen has decided to show her support to the troubled actress with a fine dedication on her MySpace blog. Or at least she would have done, but Lindsay Lohan got Lily Allen thrown off her table in an LA nightclub once, so instead Lily Allen has decided to cackle a bit and mention karma a lot. But Lily Allen should know that karma is a dangerous thing to evoke, especially when you've done terrible things yourself – like, say, recording a godawful Kaiser Chiefs cover on a Mark Ronson album.
We imagine that the first thing Lily Allen does when she wakes up in the morning is spin a giant wheel containing the faces of all sorts of famous women. Wherever the wheel stops, that's who Lily decides to be snippy about on her blog. It's basically the same way that hecklerspray operates, except that hecklerspray doesn't have a New Look clothing line yet. We also don't resemble the dwarf from the end of Don't Look Now as much as Lily Allen, but that's another story.
This relentless celebrity-slagging is why, in the past, Lily Allen had it in for Corinne Bailey Rae and Lady Sovereign, and also why the tedious Lily Allen Vs Cheryl Cole quarrel came to everyone's attention a couple of weeks ago. Back then you'll remember that Cheryl Cole was all like "Lily Allen has male genitalia" and Lily Allen was all like "Yeah, well you're a stupid bitch" and Cheryl Cole was all like "My Dad's bigger than your Dad" and Lily Allen was all like "Well, obviously. My Dad's Keith Allen, haven't you ever seen what a tiny man he is" and they both rolled around inside a paddling pool tearing at each other's clothes. Figuratively.
But that slightly cringeworthy public spat hasn't stopped Lily Allen from getting on the case of other celebrities, especially if they have wronged Lily in the past. Take Lindsay Lohan, for example. She's had better weekends – weekends where police haven't arrested her for suspecting that she crashed her car on drugs, for example, or weekend where she hasn't ended up in rehab. Nobody knows the real reasons behind Lindsay Lohan's lost weekend – other than the fact that she's a self-absorbed idiot – but Lily Allen thinks it might be karma.
You see, not so long ago Lindsay Lohan swanned into LA club Les Deux and had Lily Allen and her friends removed from their table. And, as Lily Allen writes on her blog, that's probably why Lindsay Lohan crashed her car and got arrested:
After that we went to this club called Les Deux , and that was really fun untill Linsay Lohan arrived and had us thrown off our table , I know shes a huge star an all , and famous people deserve to sit down especially when they've been working so hard , but whatevs . Linday our thoughts are with you as you go through this difficult time in your life ( she got arrested this weekend ) in the words of Timbaland and Timberlake " what goes around ………….."
Actually, we've just re-read Lily Allen's blog and it seems as if Lindsay Lohan wasn't the target of Lily's spite after all. It seems that what really happened was that someone called Linsay Lohan kicked Lily off her table, while a person named Linday Lohan then went and got arrested. Lindsay Lohan doesn't actually feature in this article at all, so we're sorry for any confusion.
Linsay and Linday Lohan, though – you girls should be ashamed.