Though it’s sadly looking unlikely that Idris Elba will be the next James Bond, he continues to make straight women and gay men (and, let’s be honest, the occasional straight man and lesbian) want to fuck him, most recently on the October cover of GQ, which features him looking highly fuckable and sporting his signature “I want to fuck you” eyes.
The accompanying article is full of a number of interesting factoids, including that he once stole his dad’s golf cart, briefly raised a child that wasn’t his because the mother told him it was, and used to sell drugz. Though it sounds like he sold only weed, he’s probably charming enough to get nuns to try meth, so, good thinking, whoever helped get drug dealer on Elba’s CV.
Another fun fact: he does not like Liam Gallagher, like, at all. (Not that he or anyone else should, because Wonderwall Jr. sounds like kind of a dick.) At this year’s NME Awards after-party in February, Elba tried to give Gallagher a hug, affectionately rubbed his head, and messed up his hair a bit. According to Elba:
“[Gallagher] didn’t like that. Don’t touch his hair, apparently. Fuck off. Next time walk with a fucking hairdresser, then.”
In retaliation, Gallagher, acting as the embodiment of a prissy rock star, made fun of and grabbed Elba’s hat and threw it across the room. When asked about the incident in the GQ interview, Elba replied “Fuck that idiot.”
Yes, fuck that idiot indeed. First of all, no one should ever make fun of Idris Elba ever. I don’t care what kind of hat he’s wearing, because he could wear nothing but a diaper and still look hot. (Idris, if you’re reading this and into that kind of thing, call me.) Second of all, I’m pretty sure if Elba rubbed my head or touched me in any way, even by accident, I’d melt into a puddle of orgasm — but that’s just me.
Luckily for Gallagher, Elba didn’t kick his ass, which you know he obviously could have, because, well…