Let’s Stop Bedingfield

Ok. So hecklerspray is still in its infancy. But - let’s be honest - we’re all grown-up enough now to start our own ‘campaign.’ Aren’t we? Well?

Daniel Bedingfield. He called his album Second First Impressions. Let’s do something about him…

Here’s a template for a letter. All you, dear heckler, have to do is fill in the requisite blanks and slip it in the post to Bedingfield himself. Come on - just try it. Maybe we can make the world a better place. Maybe the clouds could part and the sun come a-shinin’ through…

Dear Daniel,

My name is                 . I’ve been racking my brains recently, trying to come up some sort of justification for your existence but, by God, I’ve been having a spot of trouble.

You see, to my eyes at least, you’re pretty much a no-talent, face-scrapingly bad gushmonkey whose self-styled ‘music’ is so Middle Of The Road as to pose a hazard to crossing schoolchildren. And we have to keep the kids safe, right, Daniel? Right?

My opinion, nothing more.

And here’s another one.

You’re shit.

You’re worse than shit.

And you’re a shit driver to boot.

So here’s my request, Danny boy: Do It. Do it Daniel. DO IT. Do it Real Good. Put an end to all of this. A self-adminstered gunshot wound, maybe? Perhaps a nice warm bath with your wrists flapping open? For the love of god, just put us all out of our misery. Please.

Please.

Yours Hopefully,

[the contents of this letter should not be taken an instruction to the blessed youth of today...]