Leon Jackson Somehow Wins X Factor
Then buzz it up
December 16th, 2007 at 13:45 by Stuart Heritage
Leon Jackson - the red-eyed Scottish boy who only managed to stop crying for about three seconds in the entire second half of 2007 - has won X Factor.
It was a surprise result for sure, since operatic weirdo Rhydian Roberts had been tipped to become the X Factor winner right from day one, but Leon Jackson proved that he had the winning mix of weird-haired good looks, strong regional support and the ability to burst into tears every time he said a word that even sounded like 'mum'. And now, thanks to his X Factor win, Leon Jackson has been almost guaranteed to get the Christmas number one with his single When You Believe - a song that was instantly available to download for anyone who wasn't completely sick of the twatting thing after it was played about 19,000 times in a row during the last 20 minutes of the X Factor final.
X Factor winners never enjoy guaranteed success. Although last year's X Factor winner Leona Lewis is doing OK at the moment, there's every chance that the 2004 X Factor winner Steve Brookstein is that man you've seen sleeping in a puddle of his own sick in the doorway of Primark lately. The future that awaits Leon Jackson, who won this year's X Factor last night, is unknown. All we know is that the X Factor final itself went on for so long that church groups plan to show it to non-believing schoolchildren to try and explain what purgatory is like.
Even though his first X Factor performance was a terrified, badly-screeched skronk-jazz version of Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles that was so terrible that it barely even classified as music, Leon Jackson somehow rose and rose throughout the ranks to upset the bookies and score a surprise X Factor victory yesterday. How did Leon manage this? We think we've got a few ideas…
1 - X Factor is a show geared towards teenage girls with such laser-precision that it may as well be called OMG He Iz So Gawjus LOL!!!1! and that's why young boys always do so well at it. Given that the only boys in the 14-24 category were Andy Williams (a good-looking chap with all the intellect, charisma and singing ability of your nan's pubes) and Rhydian Roberts (an undoubtedly decent singer, but one who happens to look like a Norwegian sex offender), Leon Jackson got through by falling somewhere between the two.
2 - The X Factor final was set up as a Battle Of The Nations, with Rhydian representing Wales, Leon Jackson representing Scotland and Same Difference representing England. Assuming that 90% of the English vote, mortified that they've had both Scooch and Same Difference acting as their national ambassadors within the space of a year, committed suicide at 7:15 last night, that left Scotland and Wales duking it out. And Scotland is bigger.
3 - The X Factor final was Rhydian's to win and he threw it away. His granny-pleasing opera shtick is dull enough on its own, but the X Factor guest star performance reinforced that immeasurably. While Leon Jackson sang Better The Devil You Know with either Kylie Minogue wrapped in a net curtain or Barbara Windsor doing an impersonation of Kylie Minogue wrapped in a net curtain, Rhydian was lumbered with Katherine Jenkins - a woman who was supposed to perform a duet of You Raise Me Up but just ended up shrieking like an over-amplified dolphin trying to wail the theme-tune to Star Trek while getting stabbed. Plus Rhydian looked as if someone had shaped his eyebrows, the big git.
4 - Leon Jackson cries at everything all the time, and X Factor viewers love it when people cry. And although he's cried out of nerves and a love for his mother in the past, on yesterday's X Factor Leon Jackson went the whole hog and actually cried at a homemade pamphlet about Hinduism. Leon Jackson cried about Hinduism. A man with that amount of tears deserves to win everything, right?
Whatever the reason, though, Leon Jackson was crowned winner of X Factor last night. Usually the result section of the X Factor final is marked by the host crowing about how many millions of people have voted, but this time there was none of that. So we can assume that either the crackdown on television voting prevented this from happening, or only a couple of people could be bothered to vote. And those people should look at themselves very hard each time that When You Believe by Leon Jackson is played on the radio.
Because, let's not beat around the bush, When You Believe is awful. It's like Simon Cowell owns a computer that can churn out faux-aspirational power-ballads at the drop of a hat. Nevertheless, When You Believe will sell a bundle and get to Christmas number one, and only after that can we judge Leon Jackson properly. Simon Cowell has learnt his lesson and has promised that he'll take his time with Leon's album, you see, just like he did with Leona Lewis. After all, it takes time to craft a decent album of bad Radio 2-friendly cruise-liner jazzpop, and Cowell ruddy knows it.
But now isn't the time to be cynical, because Leon Jackson has won X Factor and this is his moment of glory. All hail the new David Sneddon!
Google it. You'll understand.
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December 16th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
so what if leon could barely stop crying ! he is a brilliant singer, and he deserved to win. Yes I agree that Rhydian was a fabulous singer, but I didn’t think it fair, as he had taken singing lessons before going on The X-Factor, when Leon, who started out as a shy little boy, has become full of confidence, and he deserved to win, as he has come so far, and he is just so brilliant, and oh, not to mension GORGEOUS ! I wish Leon all the luck in the world for his future singing career, and I’ll definately be buying his single. He is my number 1 christmas present ! Well done Leon, you’ve won the X-Factor, and YOU DESERVED TO ! I Love You!
December 16th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
I am so happy Leon won the X Factor i jumped in the air and burst into tears !!
i love him soooooo much !
GO LEON !!!
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December 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Well written
December 16th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Thank you for being the person who tells it how it is. And thank you for summarising Katherine Jenkins to a tee. This woman, although beautiful, is painful to listen to. It’s good to know it’s not just me who thinks this woman is truly awful!!
December 16th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Leona just doing OK?????? what planet are you living on? since when was selling 700k singles and 1 million albums in 1-2months just doing ok (after being out of the public eye for ages for that matter)? i find you need to open your eyes abit mate, is that your half hearted attempt to try and admit you are wrong about all your ignorant remarks about leona which she has now proven to be wrong.
December 16th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
thank
December 16th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
If you came from Whitburn,West Lothian….you would cry all the time.
December 16th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
Why are you trying to slag Lean just because he is scottish and loves his mum???Have you been throught half the things he has in his life??I dont think so ,so why you trying to down him - mibby if you had a hard life you would understands he wants to give his mum the world she never had beacuse she was trying to give him everything he wanted and needed when he was growing up!!I think you need to grow up and take a look at what you have become!!!!!!!
December 17th, 2007 at 5:04 am
What a wonderful vehicle X FACTOR 2008 COULD BE….ALL THOSE LOONIES AND DRAMA STUDENTS……all herded together into one big boot camp AND FORCED TO WORK AT TESCO…………..the mad thing is…….the right guy won.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am
All I can say is the right must have won cos the public voted for him but I cant see much future for the lad when all the fuss has died down.If rhydian had had the good sense to have a short back and sides and left the gel alone he would have walked it.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:49 am
fix fix fix. itv should know better these days. thousands “couldnt get thru” to vote for rhydian. the little cry baby who won it has been singing for a year. god, show yourself and fix this crap!
December 17th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
you’re a very funny writer…
December 18th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
leon well deserved 2 win when he won i jumped into the air screaming ma head off i voted 4 him 27 times!
December 18th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
GO LEON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX I’M LURVIN U 4 EVR & EVR
December 19th, 2007 at 8:21 am
only one thing to say about Leon - Steve Brooksteine who? lol
December 19th, 2007 at 10:46 am
WHY do so many people bang on about him crying in the show? It is an INCREDIBLY emotional thing to win. Personally I don’t much like the single ‘When You Believe’, and I think it was a bad song choice for both of them in the final. NOT the best song Leon could have released and NOT the best exhibition of his really GREAT voice and talent. I liked Rhydian at the start but found myself thinking more and more that his voice was really not suitable for pop music. But good luck to him with the Phantom remake! No, on the day, Leon was by far the better one and his voice will take him far. But he has to stick to what he is good at - and this is NOT songs like ‘When You Believe’ but more jazzy and upbeat numbers. And I think it was Sharopn Osbourne who said it a few shows back - he really WAS the dark horse coming up on the rails!
December 19th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
im so glad u won.i hate rhydian he can not sing at all and i think u r really cute to not like rhydian who needs to sort his hair out. i nearlly cryed when u won im so glad and i hompe u bring out anothjer really good song that song is fab i love it coz u sang it but i dont think that i would of liked it if rhydian won.that song was so made for u and when i saw u sing it the last thme i loved it as rhydian was in sutch a strop?? as i sy that song was made for u ,im so glad u won well done xxxxx
December 19th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
i’m absoutly sick of this, if leon can’t sing how in the world would he have won and can i just point out how the hell could it have been a fix all the welsh people are saying “aww we could not get through to vote for rydian” yeah well big woop when i tried calling in for leon about 10 times i could not get through they are just annoyed because there sweet little opera boy rydian never won big woop if you don’t win the xfactor go and get signed on from another record company or even so simon cowell might sign you on if your that good anyway if leon could not sing he would have not even made it through to boot camp but surprisingly enough he did!!! why? because the judges saw potential now can i also say something.. britian does not have a micheal bubble but britian has tones of opera singers who in the gods name would buy an opera cd? i would not see a teenager buying an opera cd? but rydian did have a amazing voice but his personality was just stupid when he came into the show he was so stuck up and loved himself so much then when he went onto the live shows he started acting all nice!! whats that all about?? this report is so beysist the person who wrote it should actually hang there head in shame…
welsh person i take it?
yes i though so ….
December 20th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
hey dis music is really good nd we all lyk ta listen ta it wb xxxx clu
December 22nd, 2007 at 10:26 am
I think leon is great, he is a fantastic singer with a lot of talent. I voted 8 times but tried to vote about 30 times with no luck getting through, so all this rubbish about not being able to vote for rydian and leons win being rigged is nonsence!! leon is the greatest, i hope rydian doesnt make it, he doesnt deserve to after saying he thought it was a fix, hes such a bad loser, the fact is he wasnt good enough to beat leon!!!!!!!!! deal with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
go leon i love youso much ur justda best and always will be xxxxxxxxxxxxxx luv ya loadzz katie xxxxx,,,,,,,,,,xxxxxxxxxxxxx
February 5th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE ARE SUCH BIG FANS AND WANT TO SEE YOU IN COCERT LOVE CHLOE & SOPHIE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX P.S CAN I SEE YOU BACK STAGE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 11th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
well done you won the afactor can you email me back please and i want to see you on stage again please love you so much we are such big fans and want to see you in cocerr love chelsea
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p.s can i see you back on stage xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you love you love you love you from chelsea
March 18th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Leon will be as successful as London allows him to be - not a level playing field
He has a good voice and if London wanted him to be successful then he would be BUT London doesn’t like anything Scottish so Leon will be a lamb to the slaughter - well done London (or am I allowed to say England?)
March 25th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Why the hell do you all like that snivelling little git?
Rhydian…boy can he hold an note!
Leon wobbles at the end and sounds like a drowning cat.
I, for one, think Rhydian should have won it, and still think he’ll make a comeback! He as a fantastc voice, and I don’t think it should get him down, even if we was unfairly beaten by a wimp.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Leon Jackson iz the best singer on the X FACTOR xxx uh huh thats rite bbz xxxxxxx WHHHOOOO GIVE IT UP 4 LEON. UH HUH OH YEA UH HUH OH YEA XXX
April 6th, 2008 at 11:35 am
im a really big fan and i listen to your singel every day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
April 6th, 2008 at 11:35 am
cool