You’d think that with her almost-$4 million dollar book deal underway, Lena Dunham might have picked up an Emmy’s dress that doesn’t look like it came from last year’s dELiA*s prom line. But alas! She didn’t, and it does.
Lena. Lena, Lena, Lena. I get it. What you thought were the “beginnings of a FUPA” have now burgeoned into an actual FUPA and you wanted to hide it, but you didn’t need to resort to drastic measures — Spanx would have done the job just fine.
Instead you opted for a dress that made you look like the woman in The Nutcracker who hides midget clowns under her dress. WHY was your skirt so big? Were you hiding copies of season one of Girls under there to pass out as party favors? A few birthday cakes? All the money from your book deal? Whatever it was, you could have just left it at home.
And what’s with the flowers? You couldn’t have found an easier and less hideous way to add a little pizzazz to your getup? If you’re going to do flowers, do them Kiernan Shipka-style (i.e. classily). I mean, come on — Shipka (AKA the stoic little girl from Mad Men) is what, 13, and she looked better than you (and a fair amount of other people at the Emmy’s, come to think of it). Seriously, get a hold of her agent and find out if she can take you shopping, or better yet, shoot her a tweet. She seems oddly wise beyond her years — I’m sure she’ll take pity on you.
Look, I know you’re not exactly touted as a fashion icon. I know you want to be a unique butterfly. There was the time you sat naked on a toilet eating cake, and then there was that other time when you forgot to wear pants on the red carpet. I can see you ending up on a lot of “What Not To Wear” lists (and at least one “What To Wear As in Clothes” list). But once, just ONCE, you couldn’t have hired a stylist who would have told you how nuts you looked? Because really… you looked nuts.