Hey, remember Leif Garrett? You do? Really? Then you’re much older than we are. How does that make you feel, oldie?
But we digress. Leif Garrett – a man who once had a career so sparkling that he was in TV shows we’ve never seen, made films we’ve never heard of and recorded a number of songs that we didn’t even know existed – has been arrested for possession of heroin.
There are two appropriate responses to this news – one is ‘who’s Leif Garrett?’ and the other’s ‘oh, poor Leif Garrett. I liked him’. If you responded with the latter then IT’S PROBABLY TIME FOR YOUR BATH NOW. WE’LL GET SOMEBODY TO MASH UP YOUR DINNER FOR YOU WHEN YOU’RE FINISHED, OK?
Probably the biggest danger of taking hard drugs is that increases your chances of being mistaken for a washed-up celebrity from several decades ago. Think about it – would you really take crack if you thought that people would confuse you with Tatum O’Neil? Would you really become a heroin addict if you thought that someone would one day come up to you and say “Hey man, aren’t you Leif Garrett from the 1979 episode of CHiPs entitled RollerDisco?” No. No you wouldn’t. You’d exist on a diet of carrot juice and regular exercise just to stop that one unlikely thing from happening.
But Leif Garrett doesn’t have that problem. He’ll never be mistaken for Leif Garrett because nobody remembers who Leif Garrett is. So here’s a quick history lesson – Leif Garrett was a teen idol from the 1970s, probably most famous for his songs I Was Made For Dancin’ and it’s less successful follow-up Feel The Need. He was also an actor, nabbing roles in everything from Thunder Alley and Cheerleader Camp to the godawful Bee Gees-starring movie adaptation of Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Plus a 1979 episode of CHiPs entitled RollerDisco.
But Leif has given most of his celebrity up in recent years to pursue a simpler life – a life that allegedly involves hiding as much heroin as possible in his shoes and then getting arrested for it. The LA Times reports:
The singer-actor and former Nicollette Sheridan flame was searched by Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies in a subway station just before noon, after a sheriff’s spokesman said Garrett was “sweating and shaking profusely.” The star is due back in court Feb. 24 to answer for the stash of black tar heroin that authorities say was hidden in his shoe.
Hopefully this will serve as the wake-up call that Leif Garrett so sorely needs. If this really is rock bottom, then maybe he can try to start pulling his life back in order, and maybe reclaim some of the old celebrity. Who knows, so many TV shows are being remade these days that it can only be a matter of time before CHiPs comes back. And when they remake the seminal 1979 episode RollerDisco, we’re sure that Leif will be ready to revisit his old role. You can do it, Leif! We’d believe in you if we had any idea who you were!
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surfmamma says
HEY! lay off the old jokes. I remember Leif, he was a hot kid when I was a teen. I may be older, but I’m still hot as hell. Just wait, your turn is coming….
PurplePuma says
Why so mean? I don’t understand. Perhaps the poor judgment of immaturity is showing . . .
poorlittlestu says
Sad story. But at least it’s helped identify someone more pathetic than Leif Garrett — Stuart Heritage.
Cheer up, Leif. you were famous once, got the girls, played before thousands, made movies and records. Poor little Stu just makes an arse of himself, criticizing people who made it a lot farther in the business than he had the talent or courage to.
So take heart, Leif. Read Stuart every day to see how much worse things could have gone for you in life.
Momma Dull says
Big Leif Garrett fan back in the day. Yes, I’m 46 now and hotter than ever! Sadly, Leif is the example I give to my daughter on how drugs can ruin your life (compared to my over fav Donny Osmond who is a shining Star). My fear is that soon we will be reading about Leif’s death b/c of a drug overdose. What a waste.
elle says
Sorry to take so long to respond to this. It took me a while to find my walker, so I could shuffle over here and type it.
Having been born before the moon landing, I do in fact remember good old Leif.
I remember when he played identical twins on Wonder Woman and his sister played his biggest fan.
I feel no real emotion towards the evolution of Leif from pretty girl to scary dude that I’d never pick up as a hitch-hiker, other than to say ‘Yep. It figures.’
elle says
I’m an oldie too, but this is hecklerspray. If the age bashing is there to be done, why not do it?