We’ve got our fair share of admirers here at hecklerspray. The fans of Harry Potter, Pink Floyd, Bulgaria, Jesus. Predominately though, these guys can spell, they understand the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ and most of them are even coherent. Most.

Spare a thought then for Lee Ryan. Lee – or at least someone calling themselves Lee Ryan writing from Lee Ryan’s official MySpace page – got so upset over what Chris Laverty scribbled about him in two none-too-recent articles back when Lee Ryan was even halfway famous that yesterday he decided to send us the following message. Seriously, this came from the Lee Ryan’s official MySpace page, so there’s a very good chance that the message came from the man, the myth, the kid in special school who used his textbooks as toilet paper. If we’ve not said this before, it is now abundantly clear that Lee writes all his own songs. Every single one of them. Here Lee goes (reproduced verbatim):

‘hi there i read what you wrote about me and i just wanted to say you look like the jealous type have you ever pulled a woman, or is it in your nature that so obviously drives you to be so bitchy about other blokes!! trust me i feel flattered but im not that way inclined…..sorry.

i hope oneday you are recognised as a true arse hole journalist for at this moment in time your just an arse hole but keep writing shit about me it only makes me more famous and you look more pathetic!! respectfully your a cunt.

Lee Ryan’

Lee there, turning straight men gay the world over. Though by his own admission (and a mischievous dropping of the word ‘a’) he is such a delightfully ‘respectful cunt’ himself. Of course that ‘arse hole’ (that’s a hole in the arse) Chris Laverty is too upset to comment in any great detail. Besides which, the second week in every month is when he goes hunting for Lee Ryan records to cuddle up to at night. Hasn’t found any yet though.

Poundland, Boyes, Cash Converters… must keep looking.