When Led Zeppelin first announced a one-off comeback show, the demand for tickets was monumental – almost as if people had never seen a bunch of old hobbly old men play a song about runes in the style of helium-spazzed wizards before.
In fact, records show that every man, woman, child and animal on the face of the earth, living or dead, all tried to book a million tickets each for the Led Zeppelin reunion concert in London that's scheduled for next month. And such was the demand for Led Zeppelin tickets that a full Led Zeppelin reunion tour has long been rumoured, but always denied by the band itself. But now the cat might be out of the bag, because Led Zeppelin's support band has revealed that full comeback tour really is going to happen next year. And who have Led Zeppelin picked to support on such a colossal occasion? Pink Floyd? The Who? The Rolling Stones?
No. The Cult. You know. The Cult. They had that one song once.
We've had a busy few weeks as far as reunions go – first the Spice Girls got back together, then Boyzone… why any band would want to reform knowing that they'd be up against ageless titans like those two groups is beyond us, but still they persist. Like Led Zeppelin, for example.
If you thought that Led Zeppelin had just settled into a cushy retirement of fat royalty payments, topping fantasy supergroup wish-lists and getting a bit shitty with people on the internet, think again, because Led Zeppelin are back. And ahead of their strictly one-night comeback at the O2 arena next month, it's getting to be like the band never went away. True, to indicate their advancing years some of their lyrics have been changed – they'll be singing Stairlift To Heaven, Bloody Immigrant Song and The Song Remains The Same (It's All Bang Bang Bang These Days And It Hasn't Got A Proper Tune), plus when Robert Plant sings "When I feel you near me little girl, I know you are my one desire" in I Can't Quit You Baby, he could be referring to any woman up to the age of 55.
Anyway, in a roundabout way, what we're getting at is that Led Zeppelin have always said that their reunion concert would be a one-off to honour the memory of Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Artegun, with rumours of a tour dismissed by Led Zeppelin themselves. But that doesn't seem to be the case any longer, thanks to blabby old Ian Astbury from The Cult.
According to reports, a Cincinnati club gig by The Cult on Saturday was punctuated by Ian Astbury letting the following slip to the four or five people who'd just gone into the venue to escape the rain:
"We'll be back next year. Because we're opening for a band you may have heard of … the name starts with an 'L' and has a 'Z' in it."
After a few seconds of frantic Countdown-style brow-furrowing – Liza Minnelli? Liz McClarnon from Atomic Kitten? Lorenzo da Firenze? – one unstoppable genius in the crowd screamed out "Led Zeppelin!" and to deafening cheers, Ian Astbury is reported to have 'nodded affirmatively and stuck his hand in the air triumphantly'.
In reality it was Liz McClarnon from Atomic Kitten that The Cult will be supporting all along, but Astbury didn't have the heart to let his fans down.
Oh, we're joking – as far as we know The Cult really are going to be supporting Led Zeppelin on their top-secret world tour next year. There's been no official confirmation from either The Cult or Led Zeppelin about it, though, so nothing's concrete. Especially for The Cult. Led Zeppelin won't be happy that Ian Astbury blew their secret plan before they could tell people themselves, so we'd be worried if we were him. After all, if the band can force a shark up a girl's mimsy just because they find her attractive, imagine what they'll do to a funny-looking blabbermouth like Astbury.
Bobby says
The Cult???? Let’s see. The popularity and drawing power of Led Zeppelin is such that if they choose to, they can have The Stones, U2, The Who, Aerosmith, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, and both surviving members of The Beatles, ALL open for them (and if they are on their game, just 75% of Zeppelin will upstage all these heavyweights.) But why choose any of these acts when you can have…….The Cult? I don’t think it was ever even a possibility. Old Ian was just having some fun. If there were ever even remotely any plans for the Cult to support Zeppelin, they just got shot to he%$ for stealing the announcement thunder from Zep. In the unlikely event that it turns out to be true, then this will rank as one of the all time colossally stupid blunders of blabber and self sabotage on the part of Ian Astbury, in which case he will probably never again be safe in the company of any of his ‘former’ bandmates.
Gabna says
My expectations are low. Zeppelin’s been selling the same damned compilation for 132 years. Is this “tour” going to be a re-enactment of a tour they went on back in 1973 or something?
Gilbert Wham says
Gabna: No. It will be worse. A Led Zeppelin show from 1973 would be good.
mike says
you can see a 1973 show performed by led zep too!
Olli says
Yep Led Zep Too, even better now than in 2008 with a whole new website as well.