I have been going to bed very late recently. This is mostly due to a combination of too much caffeine and the fact that I don’t awake until the early afternoon. The boredom that has arisen from my nocturnal lifestyle means that I have been watching a lot of late night talk shows. My viewing of these shows has brought me to two realisations: 1) Jay Leno bears a striking resemblance to a melted waxwork figure and 2) these late night shows are fucking awful.
When I’m talking about shit late night shows, which ones am I referring to? The worst offenders are Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, David Letterman’s Late Show, Craig Ferguson’s Late Late Show?and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel – the other network late night host – is slightly less irritating than the others, but his show is too similar for him not to be included.
My main problem with the shows is that they are too homogenised. They are all the fucking same. Allow me to run through a typical episode to illustrate my point: the host starts with a monologue (that they have written for them by other people) on humorous news stories. The monologue may be followed by a short sketch or audience game. We are then subjected to a number of celebrity interviews, during which the host will ask the same boring-as-shit questions.
The only distinction between the shows is the calibre of guests that appear. Leno and Letterman have the big movie and TV stars. Kimmel and Fallon tend to get more B-listers and reality stars. Poor old Ferguson, on the other hand, is left with the scraps. Turn on his show, and you might catch an interview with the sound guy from?The Big Bang Theory.
Even the hosts themselves are interchangeable. Every network late night host is a white guy. Most of them are old. Some of them are fat. Most importantly, though, none of them are funny. They don’t really have to be either; as each show has an entire writing staff who make the host look more better than he is. All he has to do is conduct a passable interview; and some of them can’t even do that.
Jay Leno doesn’t even look at his guests for fuck sake! There has been one woman in the history of network late night; and that was Joan Rivers in the ’80s. She was blacklisted by late night king Johnny Carson for daring to go up against him, and is still banned from?The Tonight Show?and?Late Night. Way to hold a grudge …
There is hope for us insomniacs; as there are a number of late night shows that have appeared on cable in recent years. Conan O’Brien moved to TBS after fatass Leno stole The Tonight Show?from him.?Conan?follows a similar format to his network rivals, but O’Brien’s exuberant personality and engaging interviews help to distance himself from those train wrecks.
Comedy Central’s Colbert Report?and The Daily Show?have successfully adapted the format to more of a comedic news show. I particularly enjoy?The Daily Show,?as it provides me with all of the political information I need. I mean, I don’t have time to be reading the paper; I’m much too busy. The television season is about to start.
My favourite late night show is?Chelsea Lately. Firstly, it’s great to see a woman hosting a show like this; especially one as hilarious as Chelsea Handler. The show is broadcast on E!, so it focuses on showbiz stories, albeit with a mocking tone. Handler’s show features a number of working comedians, who discuss the most popular stories of the week in a ’roundtable’ segment. This makes the show exciting and fresh, as the line-up changes constantly. There are also sketches and celebrity interviews, which Handler conducts in the most beautifully sarcastic way.
There you have it. If you find yourself up late at night; staring at a grey-haired man saying unfunny things, remember that you don’t have to put up with it. You can head over to cable and watch a show of far superior quality. Or you could take some sleeping pills with a bottle of vodka. It’s your choice ..
Sophie Jenson says
After just getting back from my first extended, non-holiday-all-business trip to the US, I have to agree that these show as are really bad. The worst thing is that the ones back home in the UK are just as bad but in a completely different way.
GreenWolfe says
I was with you until you started praising Chelsea “Human Trash” Handler. Yuck. Conan is funny though.
Ferguson Fan says
You have clearly never watched Ferguson for more than a minute. First, he starts the show with a widely varying opening bit, featuring members of the audience, puppets, musical numbers and all manner of genre-busting techniques. Next, his monologue is not written by other people… he writes (and usually mostly ad-libs) the whole thing himself, telling stories rather than leaning on the crutch of late-night-comic-style set-em-up, knock-em-down jokes. He even trades quips with a robot skeleton sidekick. During the celebrity interviews, he literally tears up the “boring as shit” questions on the blue cards and instead has real conversations with guests, sometimes probing, often funny and always entertaining. And as for his “scraps” of guests, he has done extended interviews with the erudite Stephen Fry, invites on more authors, astronomers, philosophers, cutting-edge musicians and comedians than any other late night show, and won a George Foster Peabody Award for his amazing interview with Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Before lumping Ferguson in with the rest of the late night crowd, watch again for a few nights. As much as Letterman deconstructed the format years ago, Ferguson is doing it new ways.
Classic Entertainment Guy says
Johnny Carson was the greatest. There is nobody who can come close to him and I don’t believe the newtorks are even bothering to LOOK for another Johnny. It’s all about age demographics and money. The corporate suits are very uncreative and don’t care. The corporate suit infestation problem is not only showing in Late Night TV; it’s showing in entertainment in general. The greedy/uncreative suits have ruined show business. Carson used to get an average of 15 millions viewers per night… NONE of the current hosts do that or have ever done that. Peoepl holler that things are different now that we have cable channels and sattelite instead of only three networks. I would like to point out that Carson had at least 100 cable channels to compete with in the latter part of his career and he still got 15 million viewers per night. I woudl also like to point out that the superbowl always gets around 75 million viewers. It’s a lack of real talent, creativity, etc that is driving eveything down. Execuitive suits who think the only people living in teh US live in the cities like LA and New York and ignore the rest of the country have no clue that they’re passing on millions of potential viewers they coudl be appealing to. Age demographics don’t make sense to mne for that very reason. If your show appeals to all ages and is popular… millions upon millions of peopel will be watching. Who the Hell cares how old they are? I’ll tell you; the sponsors who want to market their products to certain age groups. It’s all about money… not entertainment or art. By the way- I don’t even think Conan is funny.. in fact.. he’s my least favorite… he drives me crazy! I can’t stand the guy.. If it’s not Johnny Carson… I’m not watching… sorry…..
and I’m 30 by the way.. not some old fart pitching a fit. I also live in the central United States… not anywhere near a major city. I’m one of those living out here in the center of the country who the executives deem to be unimportant as an audience.