It was a heartwarming sight when Larry Birkhead landed in Kentucky with baby Dannielynn Hope for the first time yesterday, but we're just suckers for motherless children of drugged-up dead pornstars who travel in planes for distances of 1034 miles.
That's right – Larry Birkhead has finally touched down on American soil with the child he impregnated Anna Nicole Smith with. Together Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn Hope will forge a new life, putting the pain of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death behind them in favour of a life consisting of nothing but love, trust, stories of how funny it was when Anna Nicole Smith painted her face up like a nightmarish clown while seemingly inebriated and, of course, moments where Larry Birkhead wheels out Dannielynn Hope for photo sessions with celebrity magazines every time he runs out of money.
Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn Hope, the daughter that Anna Nicole Smith gave birth to just before her son died, had been waiting for yesterday with baited breath. Well, OK, probably not Dannielynn Hope – chances are she's just pleased that the crazy old impotent German prince didn't turn out to be her Dad, but that's beside the point.
Anyway, even before Anna Nicole Smith died Larry Birkhead had been constantly pushing for a DNA paternity test to prove that Dannielynn was fathered by him and not that bloke Anna Nicole didn't really marry on a boat. And then, after Anna Nicole Smith's death, everything went crazy. Nobody could decide where to bury her, nobody could figure out what killed her and then there was the matter of discovering who Dannielynn's father was, which Larry Birkhead eventually won.
And even after all that was figured out, Larry Birkhead wasn't allowed to leave the Bahamas with Dannielynn thanks to Anna Nicole Smith's estranged mother setting up all kinds of confusing obstacles that were finally turned over last week. Yesterday we guessed that Birkhead and Dannielynn would be returning to America soon, and instantly they did. Next we're going to guess that someone buys us a jewel-encrusted jet-ski but, again, that's beside the point. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:
Anna Nicole Smith's ex-boyfriend arrived in Kentucky from the Bahamas on Tuesday with their infant daughter and said he is looking forward to introducing the baby to his family. "It just feels good to be home," Larry Birkhead said after stepping off a private jet and walking up to a fence where more than a dozen photographers and a handful of reporters were gathered. Birkhead said he plans to show off 7-month-old Dannielynn to his family in Louisville and "relax and horse around."
By 'relax and horse around' we presume that Larry Birkhead means 'hawkishly watch out for any infringements of that creepy Anna Nicole Smith trademark he registered and count the days until Dannielynn inherits all that money from the dead old man that her dead mother got married to.' But, for the sake of brevity, 'relax and horse around' is probably good enough.
The date and location of Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn Hope's arrival in America also has special significance for Birkhead. He and his daughter arrived in Kentucky just in time for Barnstaple Brown pre-Kentucky Derby party – the event where he first met Anna Nicole Smith when he was working as a freelance photographer.
And what a special time that will be, as it'll allow Larry Birkhead to whisper into his daughter's ear "This is where me and your mommy first met – before we did it a bunch of times, I knocked her up, she denied I'd knocked her up, you were born, your brother died and then your mommy died because she accidentally took too much medication and we could only decide on where to bury her when her body started decomposing faster than expected." Heartwarming we tell you.
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Tai says
What a nasty article. Shame on you.
Miss Vickie says
Why such a cynical article on something that is really a human tragedy regardless of its Celebrity status and why in particular being so cynical regarding Larry Birkhead ?
What has he ever done to deserve these kind of comments. ?
Larry has fought against all odds to prove the baby was his. This journey has taken him close to a year (from about last May onwards).
He was booted out of Anna Nicoles life while she was pregnant with his child and in collusion with the ever helpful Howard K Stern.
Howard K Stern then integrated himself into the life that was rightfully Larry Birkheads and there was very little he could do but watch it unfold.
He’s seen Howard K Stern being present at the birth of HIS baby, he’s seen Howard K Stern fawning and cooing over HIS baby, he’s found Howard K Stern’s name on the birt certificateme on the birth certificate of HIS baby whilst and Larry was being prevented from trying to establish paternity.
Larry should therefore be commended for his tenacity in persuing what was rightfully his and now he has finally succeeded, he’s made out to be an opportunist.
Your article is therefore in very poor taste .
GIVE LARRY A BREAK !!
J says
This is a NON story. There is a war going on people, who gives a crap about a dead junkie-‘s baby or who it’s parentage is?
Gilbert Wham says
Yes, J that is true. But THIS is a blog about inane celebrity gossip. No explosions. Unfortunately. Inane EXPLODING celebrity gossip would be a gem of 21st century reportage.