Perpetual bad bitch wannabe Lana Del Rey has been faking it ’til she makes it for years now with her “I’m a thugged out Lolita. Listen to how deep I am” contrived image. Heads up, I don’t even think bitch has read “Lolita”, which is a real shame as it’s a piece of fucking art. While I enjoy her music (when it’s not performed live) and do enjoy her image and style, I do feel she’s about as genuine as Bruce Jenner’s nose.
“Born to Die” is one of my favourite albums of the last five years, but it’s also so pretentious it could make Gwyneth Paltrow gag. But, I digress. Lana has clearly always wanted to be considered something greater and more iconic than she truly is, so it really came as no surprise when she started spewing depressing ass shit about wishing she was dead.
When Lana isn’t busy masturbating to Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter, she’s giving genius interviews like this one to “The Guardian”:
“I wish I was dead already,” Lana Del Rey says, catching me off guard. She has been talking about the heroes she and her boyfriend share – Amy Winehouse and Kurt Cobain among them – when I point out that what links them is death and ask if she sees an early death as glamorous. “I don’t know. Ummm, yeah.” And then the death wish.
Don’t say that, I say instinctively.
“But I do.”
“I do! I don’t want to have to keep doing this. But I am.”
Do what? Make music?
“Everything. That’s just how I feel. If it wasn’t that way, then I wouldn’t say it…”
Lana Del Rey is my age (we’re both 1986 babies), yet I feel like she relates way more to 20-year-old Krysta than late-twenties Krysta. And, let me just add, 20-year-old Krysta was a fucking IDIOT.
I mean, Lana’s music sure as hell isn’t cherry, but way to take depressing to a whole new level.
I get that bitch is really into Kurt Cobain, but home girl needs to wake up and realize she is NOT Kurt Cobain. She showers way too much and cares way too much about her image. She changed her name from Lizzie Grant to the “cooler” Lana Del Rey for Christ’s sake!
You think if Kurt Cobain gave a fuck about being cool he’d have kept a name that was basically the same as this guy:
Lana, you need to calm the fuck down and go back to doing the things you’re good at: pouting and making music I don’t hate.