Lady Gaga is an undeniably aspirational figure – women want to be her, men want to check if she’s got a willy or not.

She’s a trendsetter, too. Whatever Lady Gaga does – whether it’s dressing up in wildly impractical outfits or making unnecessarily long music videos – you can guarantee that it’ll be ripped off by hundreds of celebrities from MIA to Leona Lewis. So the news that Lady Gaga is reportedly developing a perfume fills us with absolute dread.

Sure, a Lady Gaga perfume sounds like a lovely idea, but how long will it be before other celebrities start copying her idea? Imagine if Britney Spears decided to launch a perfume as well, or Jennifer Lopez, or Kate Moss, or Sarah Jessica Parker. It’d be ridiculous. Who could possibly want that?

When you buy a celebrity perfume, you’re not actually buying a perfume – you’re buying the essence of that celebrity in a bottle. That’s why Victoria Beckham‘s perfume is opulent and floral, and why Sarah Jessica Parker’s perfume is light and delicate, and why Paris Hilton‘s perfume probably smells like a combination of prisons and semen.

So with that in mind, would you buy a Lady Gaga perfume? Would you? Remember that this is a woman so cutting-edge that she’s worn sunglasses made of cigarettes and filled videos with images of S&M policemen. Is that something you’d actually want to smell like?

Well, tough. It must be, because Lady Gaga is bringing out a perfume anyway. Digital Spy reports:

Lady GaGa will reportedly launch an “unusual” new fragrance this Christmas. According to Marketing magazine, the popstar is helping to develop the scent to be marketed and produced by Coty, the makers of Kate Moss’s signature perfume. The product’s release will apparently be accompanied by a heavy marketing blitz, including magazine and TV ads.

Unusual. Great. This is just a prediction, but we’d imagine that Lady Gaga’s new perfume is going to end up smelling of foxes and toenails. Or hammers and disinfectant. Or Fiats and egg yolk. Or curtains and spinal fluid. We can’t wait.

And the perfume doesn’t even have a name yet, either. It needs to be one word that perfectly encapsulates everything that Lady Gaga is and wants to be, like Naomi Campbell‘s Mysterious or Kerry Katona‘s Outrageous. Our prediction? The new fragrance will almost definitely be called Lady Gaga: Madonna.

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