You know, as we were teasing our hair into the shape of a telephone this morning, we had a sudden thought.

“Isn’t Lady Gaga influential?” Then, later on, as we were trying to do up our giant dress – you know, the one made of frosted glass that’s an identical scale model of the Pompidou Centre – without burning it on our boxer shorts made of lit cigarettes, we thought it again. “Isn’t Lady Gaga influential?” Then, even later on, as we were making a new song by playing an old Madonna record and sporadically hitting a keyboard that we’d rigged to say the word ‘bitch’ in time with it, we finally decided. Yes, Lady Gaga is influential.

And we’re not the only ones who think that. Time magazine thinks that Lady Gaga is so influential that it’s got Cyndi Lauper to write a little piece about her. Cyndi Lauper, don’t you know.

We’re really going to have to take issue with Time magazine’s 2010 TIME 100 list of the world’s most influential people. Because, come on, it’s laughable. Look at some of the names who made the list.

Take Dr. Perumalsamy Namperumalsamy. Sure, he may have revolutionised optical healthcare in the Indian subcontinent, but has he ever made a really music video about Beyonce’s tits that led MIA to make a really long music video about some ginger people getting blown up? No, no he bloody well hasn’t. Dr. Perumalsamy Namperumalsamy, you have no place on the list at all.

Or take Douglas Schwartzentruber. He may be closer than anyone else in history to developing a vaccine against cancer, but is his career directly responsible for the song Tick Tock by Ke$ha? Nope. Has Brazilian president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva ever worn a dress made entirely out of Kermit The Frog puppets? Does Chief Master Sergeant Tony Travis constantly carry around an ornate little teacup as a kind of preposterous affectation? No and no. Begone from this list of influential figures, you insufferable charlatans!

But Lady Gaga has done all of those things, and that’s why she richly deserves her place in the 2010 TIME 100 list. Even more so, she richly deserves to have her profile written by a cultural monolith like Cyndi Lauper, who you may remember had a song that was marginally popular about 26 years ago. Here’s what Lauper wrote about Lady Gaga:

I first heard the name Lady Gaga through a mutual friend. He couldn’t stop talking about her. Then I heard her music, and I thought, Wow, I love this kid… I did an interview with her once, and she showed up with a sculpture on her head. I thought, How awesome.

So well done, Lady Gaga. For dressing impractically and sounding a bit like Madonna, you fully deserve to be named as one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people of the year, alongside such luminaries as, oh, Ashton Kutcher. Never mind.

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