Lady Gaga Blokes Up For New Photo Shoot

by Matthew Laidlow on July 1, 2010 11 Comments

in Celebrity Gossip

When looking at Lady Gaga in years to come, commentators of modern pop culture will observe her under a giant microscope and just sigh.

One of weirdest things about Lady Gaga is how her rancid fish finger dresses don’t repel fans. We’re up for something a little bit different, but sometimes it’s enough to make us hide under the bed in terror.

Anyway, you would have thought that Lady Gaga would be nonplussed about the rumours that she’s got the wrong genitals. Soon, the whole debate about whether Lady Gaga has a surprise in her pants may overtake her main role as being as a singer. But no publicity is bad publicity, so it’s good that nobody can tell if the subject of a new magazine photo shoot is Lady Gaga in drag or a real man.

In a recent TV interview, the whole penis issue was mentioned again with Lady Gaga giving this statement about the situation:

“I love the rumour I have a penis, I’m fascinated by it.”

Rumour? Does she suffer from short-term memory loss or something? They’re her genitals – she can discover whether she’s got a set of balls or not whenever she likes, just by peeling off her pants. The rest of us will just have to wait for a definitive answer from her.

To further add to everybody’s confusion, there’s a male model in an upcoming magazine photo shoot by the name of Joe Calderone. Now, Calderone looks a lot like Lady Gaga in a suit, and the shoot was arranged by one of Lady Gaga’s stylists. Are the photos genuine or not? Does Gaga/Calderone dress like a woman to be all glitzy and extravagant and dress down as a bloke when not performing? Anyway, The Daily Mail reports:

The photos were taken in London by renowned photographer Nick Knight and arranged by regular Gaga stylist Nicola Formichetti. They are set to appear in a men’s fashion editorial for the September issue of Vogue Hommes Japan.

So it’s for our Japanese friends? With its zany culture, this would fit in perfectly with the country’s manic lifestyle. If it appeared in the American Vogue, there’d be a mass demonstration of pissed-off Christians with marching and burning images of Lady Gaga because it promotes corruption for the poor youth of society.

In honour of Lady Gaga’s confusing gender antics, we’re going to Sellotape our penis between our legs to give ourselves the perfect mangina. Let’s hope we don’t get confused with one of the woman from Sex In The City.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

DTP July 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

HONESTLY? Is this your form of journalism??? bashing people? get a fucking life. You know nothing about art. There’s something beautiful about the androgyny in those photos. WHO CARES IF THAT’S GAGA OR NOT. She is really a woman. it’s obviously been shown in picture from the grammys. You cannot hide a penis in that outfit.

Why don’t you learn how to really write an article and research. Obviously you bias opinion of her blocked your work.

Classic.

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Rone July 2, 2010 at 3:36 pm

If you’ve ever watched a good drag show, you’d realize that you can hide a penis in nearly any outfit. Thongs, swimsuits, skin-tight catsuits. It’s all good tucking.
Granted, she doesn’t sound like a man or a man pretending to be a woman. That’s the only way I can figure she isn’t hiding a package.

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Wench. July 5, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Oh-ho-ho! Don’t you look like a silly one.

Grab the definition of ‘heckler’ and then hit yourself with a frying pan until you pass out, nay, die.

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Tazquearious Zosham July 1, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Dear DTP,
You make a false assumption when you claim that a two dimensional picture is the infamous Lady Gaga. You also make a false assumption that I, or anyone else outside of Stefani Germanotta, I think, would absolutely know whether or not the person pictured is male or female. I have been drawing pictures for almost forty years and I have a alternative view for you. The picture of the person who is claimed to be Lady Gaga is neither male nor female nor goat, but rather, it is a picture of a woman sketched under the sketch of a man and then photographed before being spraypainted and photoed a second through one hundredth time. I am just saying, dude!

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stella July 2, 2010 at 12:19 am

Today it’s often hard to tell a men from a woman. I knew there was something weird about her, I still think it’s an animal turned into a human.

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Lynora Valdez July 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

To be honest, who the fuck cares?

You’re spending time here, dissecting her words, CLEARLY using semantics because NO SHIT she knows that she doesn’t have male genitalia, and no she doesn’t use it to her advantage making people think she’s a man. If you’d researched her at all, even on fucking Wikipedia you’d know that she got her first publicity or fame from something Christina Augilara whatever the fuck you spell it, when she said that she couldn’t tell if Gaga was a man or woman.

And she shows us in “Telephone” that there’s nothing down there, while at the same time saying Who Cares? Because no one really should care anyhow.

Anyways, my point is, that you should probably research someone if you’re going to bash them, and if you’re going to bash them solely on the reason that they may or may not be feminine or masculine, take some time off from journalism and read through some critique analysis.

Additionally, if you think Lady Gaga would be fazed by rumours that she has a penis, once again, it shows that you do not know much about the fabulous Lady Gaga.

I love you mama monster, we’ve all got your back.

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Dee-da July 2, 2010 at 11:58 am

You people are all retarded.

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Wibble July 3, 2010 at 7:08 am

‘Who the fuck cares?’ Judging from your vast essay I’d say that you the fuck do, Lynora Valdez :)

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jacques muller July 7, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Fuck all u cunts

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Emily August 25, 2010 at 5:41 pm

I don’t give a shit about Gaga but this article is transphobic and frankly disgusting. :/

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Karmen August 28, 2010 at 12:28 am

This is the worst excuse for journalism, or even a gossip rag, that i have ever read.
This is an editorial, an opinion. Learn the difference.
Until then, please stop littering the internet with this trash.

Reply

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