Jessica Simpson makes tons of money. When she’s not filming thirty-second commercials of her popping wads of cheese-filled pizza crust into small boys’ mouths for gobs of cash, she’s making her own line of shoes for loads of loot.
Nick Lachey on the other hand, he probably still keeps close tabs on his Newlyweds money. His only solo release, entitled SoulO, tanked and his movie roles aren’t generating any acclaim. The green simply ain’t coming in.
But with some new divorce papers he’s recently filed, that’s all gonna change. Nick, you see, wants alimony.
Nick Lachey, famous semi-ex husband of Jessica Simpson (Stuff), waddled into the Los Angeles Superior Court
to file some rebutting divorce papers. Simpson filed for the big ‘D’
in December of ’05, and Lachey, it would seem, wants to sweeten his
deal.
Lachey wants alimony. He wants that sweet monthly slab of his ex’s
earnings for the foreseeable future. Who can blame him? She will,
after all, have plenty of money so long as lowbrow mechanics and
drunken college fraternities keep throwing money at her to stare at her
cut-off wrapped can on the silver screen. Remember when they first filed for divorce and issued this
statement:
“After three years of marriage, and careful thought and
consideration, we have decided to part ways. This is the mutual
decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and
admiration for each other…"
Well they should have tacked "…so long as all rings, necklaces and
anklets are returned to their proper owner," onto the end, because it
appears this is going to get petty. Lachey wants his junk back, and he
officially said so to the legal system like this: he’d like his
"miscellaneous jewelry and other personal effects," the hell back. Quotation marks can only go around the actual quote.
At least Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson never had any kids though, so it’s easy going on
that front. Unless you count the massive crystal unicorn collection
they sported on their seven china cabinets. It’s a beautiful bunch
too, it’s got unicorns standing up, unicorns sitting down, and one
that’s reportedly impaling a goose. The Lacheys had a ritual of
kissing each one goodnight just before turning in, and offering each
one a small amount of Cream O’ Wheat when the sun came up. Our undercover informant who is club footed, white, balding, has a dark handlebar moustache, goes by Todd and generally wears a greasy button-up work shirt that say Petey’s Plumbing told us so, and he’d never lie about things we tell him to make up.
Read more:
Nick Lachey Not Done Punishing Jessica Simpson – Post Chronicle
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
amber says
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH NICK. JESSICA IS A GIRL WHO LIKES ALL OF THE ATTENTION AND DRAMA POINTED TO HER. I THINK THAT SHE IS NOT A BRIGHT GIRL AT ALL. I MEAN AFER ALL SHE STILL LETS HER FATHER RUN HER LIFE. HOW OLD IS SHE?
Julee says
I think Nick is just another example of men trying to bully a woman and get his way.Shame on you Nick!!!!!!!!
someones ex says
I say good for him. Its about time a man got to take from his ex-wife instead of the other way around.
Joe Simpson says
They didn’t have a pre-nup, so who’s the not so bright one in this matter?
Dude says
Hey Julee, welcome to equal rights. Get used to it.
Will says
Take her for everything she got, you women out there need to learn a lesson about what marriage is and then just maybe you will become better people instead of selfish airheads , and stop using us men as meal tickets and breaking our hearts , its got to stop, take it all nick i support you along with every other guy in the world!!!!!!!!!
Carter says
Nick? Shame on you dude!! Where is the pride? I’m traditional dude, i don’t care who is taking advantage of who. Men don’t depend on women lol. It is disgrace for all of us. Especial while he has extraordinary income compare to average men. Dude change your life style, don’t be a begger.
Stephanie says
You go Nick. You have just as much right to alimony as any woman who collects from an ex. It’s a sword that cuts both ways.
Ryan says
hey women want equal rights to men. vise versa! women take from their ex husbands everyday. jessica is a prime example that the table can turn. while he was at it he should have knocked her up, took custody, and filed for child support. haha, last part was a joke, calm yourselvs!
JCC says
Why shouldn’t he get part of it? They were a team during the processing of her reaching her fame. If it were the other way around, would anyone be saying anything bad about her???
Common Sense says
All things considered. Before they were married Nick Lachey wanted a pre-nup, but Jessica’s father, being the greedy bastard he is thought that Jessica’s carreer was going downhill and that a Divorce from Nick would instead yield HER money motivated Jessica and her father to insist on no Pre-nup.
Guess things took a 360 turn on them. Greed is bad people, Nick played his card, hey if a woman can ask for alimony why not a man?. And besides, any man should have to be paid to put up with her dumb ass.LOL
Mickey Raines says
Julee’s post is a perfect example of the lack of objectivity in some women blinded by (perceived and otherwise) oppression by men.
dlove says
I think he should get alimony. Jessica Simpson had all but disappeared from the scene until she married Nick and they had the show on MTV. Now she is back in the spotlight and making tons of money because of it. Nick should be able to reap the benefits of what he helped “bring back to life” so to speak. As long as Jessica can shake her butt and wear revealing clothes, she will make money. Give the man what he wants.
Melissa says
I think that Nick should get half of everything Jessica has, plus monthly alimony payments, because we all know if the tables were turned and Nick had the money
Papa Joe Simpson would make sure his little girl got what she deserved. Thats why he wouldn’t allow her to sign the pre nup that Nick wanted. So Jessica looks like Daddy isn’t always right, especially in this case, cause now u are going to have to pay up.
You go Nick get your money, and go spend it on a women who deserves you.
Nick Is Lame says
I don’t think he bared children or spent 15 years trying to make sure her career was successful. He was trying just as hard as her only she was more successful. It should only apply when one side has to sacrifice something (other than the fact she she and her family are not so bright). He did not have to sacrifice and he had every opportunity to do something with his washed up music career / so called acting.
iris says
Nick should get half of what they made as a married couple, but no alimony. He is not broke now and will be very well off when he gets his half, he doesn’t need the alimony.
BeachDude says
So f*%#ing funny. Why do I care about what these people do, heck I’d be happy to have enough for a car payment. I don’t think either of them have a touch of what most of us working fools have to go thru all the time. But hey all’s fair in love and war and Nick should get his fair share, she’d be going after his if the table was turned and we all know it. But my big question is, who’s going to take care of the unicorns? ;-p
Long Overdue says
I applaud Nick for his efforts. Women have fought for equal rights, and guess what? Time to them to pay up too! This is one of the last battlefronts where men should get what is due to them, but never do because it’s not “manly,”, or because the courts are always unfairly skewed to favor women. I hope he gets what he wants, and hope more men do the same! Time for a change!
Caramel Blond says
He’s RIGHT. SHE refused to sign a pre-nup at the time of their marriag (when his earning outweighed hers big time) and they are legal residents of a community property state (California). Serves the selfish little bitch right.
DeLBee says
Grow – up unlachey, all we ever saw you doing was drinking & watching & paying for the strippers, so as far as I can tell you already got enough of Jessica’s money & spent it. Get a JOB of your own & leave her alone. You made us think that you were the man, than act like one that can grow – up on his own & not be riding on Jessica’s wind.
Not Julie says
Jessica was NOTHING when she Married Nick … Nick was the star and had all the potential. That changed over time, AFTER they were married.
Jessica probably felt great that Nick had no prenup when they married … he had plenty of dough.
She’s screwed now …
candy says
Women fight for equal rights but then they can’t handle when those rights include things they don’t like. If this was turned around, I would think Jessica had every right to get support. Let’s be real, Nick did sacrifice. He had to be married to Jessica and that’s enough. FYI I’m a woman and just like hollywood wives can clean up from their successful exes I feel hollywood husbands should be able to do the same thing to their wives.
LuLo says
I think that Nick is wrong to ask for money and jewelry from Jessica Simpson. He should have put enough money away in the bank in his own account, not one he shared with his wife, and the same goes for Jessica.
I mean, come on, Nick, be a man! Look at K-Fed, mooching off Britney! At least he’s TRYING to make it on his own. (She’s worth 500 million, and he’s worth like, a fifth of a cent)
Anyways, if Nick wasn’t so stupid, he would have realized that, just because she’s a hot blonde with big breasts, doesn’t mean she’s not smart. She’s sly, and he should’ve gotten to know her before marrying her. And don’t let Joe talk you into not getting a pre-nup. Ya idiot…
anonymous says
i think it’s ridiculous to have asked for all the jewelry back. if he gave it to her, then its hers to keep. if its some ring or jewelry passed down from his grandmother, then itll be fine but if its not then what the heck. i think he should let her keep the stuff. be a man and have pride.