Kylie Minogue has been through a lot these last few months, like fighting breast cancer and watching her sister shamelessly pretend to be a lesbian in order to try and sell some copies of her lame-duck Greatest Hits album, but she kept herself busy.
While she was recovering from her cancer treatment, Kylie Minogue decided to
rip-off Madonna indulge her creativity and write her own children's book – entitled The Showgirl Princess – about a special little girl who has it off with Michael Hutchence, stops being famous, gets her arse out in a music video and then gets cancer. OK, so we don't know if that's actually what happens in The Showgirl Princess – we tried to read it but some of the words were quite long.
Even when she was lying low after she was diagnosed with breast cancer, Kylie Minogue never really stopped being famous. Sure, she wasn't able to prance around with her bum out going "la la la," as much as she used to, but Kylie found other ways to kill time. In between being forced to watch hour after hour of Little Britain DVDs, Kylie Minogue managed to not get married to anybody, while deciding to make an elephant her primary mode of transport and entertaining the idea of making her comeback at Glastonbury.
More than that, though, Kylie Minogue started writing a children's book. The Showgirl Princess – named after the Showgirl tour and the Impossible Princess album, so presumably the follow-up book will be called The Street Fighter That Song I Did With Nick Cave – was described by its editor as being able to:
"appeal to little princesses everywhere who love to dress up and have fun. It brims with positive messages such as believing in yourself and the importance of friendship and teamwork."
Not forgetting the important lesson that The Showgirl Princess teaches young girls about how lucrative it is to have Justin Timberlake to grope your bum at an awards ceremony. Anyway, yesterday Kylie Minogue got to launch The Showgirl Princess in London – which ITV described as 'magical' because:
The singer added to the magical feel of the event by dressing up in a floaty dress covered in flowers with big wizard like sleeves.
However unstoppably lame that sounds – and putting aside the debates raised about whether or not The Showgirl Princess would get published if it hadn't been written by Kylie Minogue – at least The Showgirl Princess will be about three million times better than the inevitable Dannii Minogue cash-in follow-up book.
[story by Stuart Heritage]