Kylie Minogue Back With That Bloke She Dumped

In the history of the world, there's never been a more magical couple than Kylie Minogue and that French bloke, whatever his name is.

But sadly Kylie Minogue and Oliver Martinez - that's his name - split up last year, instantly killing our hopes that they'd eventually have a half-French midget baby with unexplainably tight facial skin.

However, now it looks like Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez are back together, and the baby plans are back on. And not a moment too soon - we want to see if Kylie Minogue's range of one and a half facial expressions is genetic.

Kylie Minogue has had a rubbish couple of years. Not because she was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to go through a long, painful period of treatment - or because her comeback tour was ravaged by overwork and illness - but because, for a short period of time last autumn, it looked as if Dannii might become the most famous Minogue sister. Imagine a world where Dannii Minogue is more famous than Kylie. Horrible, isn't it. Horrible and wrong.

But now Kylie Minogue is over the worst of it and everything's plain sailing again. Her appearance on Doctor Who didn't completely ruin everyone's Christmas, she's got a new single coming out that couldn't sound any more like a jittery karaoke version of Holiday by Madonna if it tried and, what's more, Kylie Minogue is in love again, to that bloke she was in love with last time.

Apparently Kylie Minogue is back together with Olivier Martinez - the man who she dumped after it looked like he might have slept with Penelope Cruz. Hello reports:

Aussie songstress Kylie Minogue is reportedly "overwhelmed with happiness" after rekindling her romance with former flame Olivier Martinez. "Kylie has taken him back - with a new set of rules," reveals a friend of the 39-year-old. The couple, who went their separate ways last February after a four-year romance, have reportedly drawn up a long-term plan involving marriage and children. "Ollie has agreed to try for a baby. That was always the stumbling block in their relationship," explains the pal. "They have both been single for a year and Kylie has realised she has never had anyone that has matched up to him…" 

It'll be interesting to see how Kylie Minogue's fans react to this development, since it wasn't so long ago that they all wanted him dead. But at least they'll be pleased that Kylie has maximised on Olivier's pitiful pleading and managed to guilt him into marrying her and fathering her child. After all, everyone knows that the best way to keep a man is to make a fixed set of rules for him to abide by and then force him to make you pregnant. That way he'll never have it off with pretty Spanish actresses again.

But what does Kylie Minogue think about all of this? It's one thing to have your feelings described by a glossy celebrity-friendly magazine, but quite another to actually express them in person. Luckily Kylie Minogue has KylieKonnect, her MySpace-style social networking site to keep her closer to her fans than ever before. So what does Kylie Minogue have to say about her reunion with Olivier Martinez on KylieKonnect?

Kylie graces the cover of this month's 'Woman and Home' magazine to
promote her range of bedlinen that is coming out in late February!

Oh.

Read more:

Kylie 'overwhelmed with happiness' after reunion with former beau Olivier - Hello