If you thought that Kurt Cobain was miserable when he was alive, just imagine how miserable he must be feeling now that's he's dead – Kurt Cobain is officially richer than Elvis Presley, but he can't buy any speedboats because he's dead.
A report by Forbes has revealed that Elvis Presley – top-earning dead celebrity for four straight years – has been beaten in the dead celebrity earning factor this year by dead Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, thanks to Courtney Love selling a 25% stake in his song catalogue for $50 million. However, the Elvis Presley estate are determined to make sure Kurt Cobain only tops the dead celebrity richlist for one year, by jumping onboard the resurgent grunge bandwagon and releasing Elvis Hates Himself Too, And Would Probably Want To Die If He Wasn't Already Dead, a compilation of remixes of Elvis songs set to Nirvana-style backing tracks with Elvis Presley's voice digitally lowered slightly to make him sound a bit more miserable.
There are few things we enjoy reading more than the annual Forbes list of top-earning dead celebrities. There's just something so heartening about knowing that people who have been dead for decades are able to make more money in a year than you probably will in your entire life, isn't there? In the past, Elvis Presley has been the richest dead celebrity almost constantly. And quite right too – Elvis Presley is still able to draw attention to himself from beyond the grave, whether its by selling his house to Uri Geller or selling his teddy bear to a hungry dog. But this year things are different – Elvis Presley has been superseded as the richest dead celebrity by Kurt Cobain.
Kurt Cobain has also had quite a year – even though it's been 12 years since he decided to blow a massive hole in the back of his head with a shotgun, Kurt Cobain has still managed to be voted as the best rockstar ever and the writer of the most overrated album ever. Quite an achievement. Oh, and Kurt Cobain's widow, everyone's favourite drug-free, Alan Partridge-shagging loon Courtney Love sold a 25% stake in his song catalogue for $50 million too. This massive one-off payment has ensured that Kurt Cobain is the top-earning dead celebrity of the year. But what about the runners-up? Here's the full top ten list of the top-earning dead celebrities according to Forbes:
1 – Kurt Cobain – $50m
2 – Elvis Presley – $42m
3 – Charles Schulz – $35m ($35m for drawing the same three pictures of a dog on a kennel all his life? We're in the wrong business)
4 – John Lennon – $24m (The only dead celebrity with an exhibition where you can look at replicas of his teeth)
5 – Albert Einstein – $20m (See kids, discovering the theory of relativity doesn't make you as rich as writing a song called Moist Vagina)
6 – Andy Warhol – $19m ($19m for filming a building for eight hours. Bet you wish you'd thought of that now)
7 – Dr Seuss/Theodor Geisel – $10m (The only man keeping Jim Carrey in employment)
8 – Ray Charles – $10m (Dead blind singer)
9 – Marilyn Monroe – $8m (Dead squeaky actress)
10 – Johnny Cash – $8m (Dead cowboy and Nike salesman)
Read more:
Top-Earning Dead Celebrities – Forbes
[story by Stuart Heritage]
misery says
KURT IS OWNAGE.
ELVIS IS EPIC FAIL.
Jade says
Yeah, I love Kurt and I just can’t believe in my eyes, really? *——–*
Aaawn, I love him and Elvis, AAAAAAAAAAAAWN, JUST CANT BELIEVE